New Pizza Business To Specialize In Deliveries To Jails And Prisons

July 1st, 2016 | by Johnnny
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Here’s your fracking pizza!

Bismarck, ND – A new pizza delivery company will soon be unlocking its doors in North Dakota.

Prison Pizza Pros will specialize in hot deliveries to those who find themselves behind bars.

All pizzas shall be of the “Deep Dish” variety so as to allow contraband to be secretly smuggled into the inmates who requested the hot delivery.

The idea first came to Prison Pizza Pros owner Frankie Siciliani who thought to himself while doing time, “Man, I could sure go for a hot pizza delivery right now, especially one that has a small metal hacksaw inside of it”.

After asking around, Frankie’s feasibility study revealed that most prisoners would certainly be in favor of ordering a hot pizza that had a small metal hacksaw inside of it.

Some of the more popular choices from Prison Pizza Pros are:

The General Population (Large, All Meat Pizza)
The Solitary Confinement (One Topping Pizza)
The Death Row Pizza (Super Spicy Jailapeno Peppers)


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.