Man Tries To Rob Convenience Store For A Pack Of Cigarettes Using Only A Pillow

September 15th, 2017 | by Johnnny

This is the pillow that was used to try to rob a convenience store for a pack of cigarettes.

Fargo, ND – Henry Doofus was booked on charges of felonious attempted robbery after he tried to rob a convenience store while only carrying a pillow as a weapon.

The store clerk, Richard Stonewall, at first thought it was a big joke when Mr. Doofus demanded a pack of Marlboro Light 100s while threatening to hit the clerk with the pillow.

Once it was determined that this was certainly not a joke, Richard Stonewall pulled out a large baseball bat (after pressing the police emergency call button) and then began to soundly pummel Henry Doofus until the police showed up.

Police officers on the scene found a bloodied Doofus on the floor and then carefully placed the pillow into a clear plastic bag as evidence.

Attorneys for the convenience store will be seeking a life sentence for Henry Doofus just to send a message to future potential would-be doofuses, however, they are in favor of the Doofmeister having his pillow in prison upon which to sleep and dream about that pack of Marlboro Light 100s.


The following two tabs change content below.
Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.