In South Dakota, there are lots of great places and great spaces…to make meth.
Methadone, SD – The rest of the country was immediately jealous after South Dakota recently unveiled its incredible new state slogan: Meth–We’re On It!
This extraordinarily catchy phrase was the result of extremely long brainstorming binges followed by much tweaking and re-tweaking until South Dakota finally got it right.
If you’re curious, here are some of the other great slogans that South Dakota came up with, which unfortunately did not make the final cut:
All roads in South Dakota lead to meth. Prometheus loves South Dakota! South Dakota doesn’t meth around. L E T M E T H I N K Our favorite stone is Amethyst. Don’t say yeth to meth. Methamatics is all about numbers. South Dakota is tweaking its methodology. Come visit South Meth-kota! There’s a method to our madness. Avoid death. Avoid meth. Avoid South Dakota. South Dakota’s in a hell of a meth. Today methinks. Yesterday methought. Methodists worship South Dakota. There’s something about South Dakota. Join us for lunch in our meth hall. Our new name is Meth Dakota. Why does meth rhyme with death? We teach meth in our skools. Don’t meth up your life like we did. We’re cracking our meth problem. Help us save Planet Meth. Mind over meth matters. We won’t sleep till we solve our meth problem. Meth can make your mind go South. Say yeth to not doing any more meth. Do you mind if we meth around? South Dakota: Great meth. Grave death.
Don’t be surprised if Secret Santa drops in at your place of work before Christmas!
Fargo, ND – Secret Santa has recently been making the rounds at many local Fargo businesses.
For any employees who choose to participate in their Secret Santa program, it’s a chance to find out what are some of the hot items for Christmas this year.
Your FM Observer has conveniently compiled a list for you of this year’s top items that people are receiving from Secret Santa:
◘ Anything Trump ◘ Butterscotch Pudding ◘ A small box of Heath Bars ◘ Small plastic Elephants ◘ A can of Mackerel ◘ Any signed book by Deepak Chopra ◘ A box of dried Kasoori Methi leaves ◘ Barbie Bubblegum-flavored mouthwash ◘ A box of traditional Cracker Jack (includes prize!) ◘ A box of marsh-mellow Moon Pies ◘ A small bottle of Johnny’s French Dip Au Jus ◘ A Jesus candle (from the Mexican section at Cashwise) ◘ Flavored Pocky Biscuit Sticks (by Glico) ◘ A box of Prawn Crackers
Qiameth is a thousand times more powerful than meth, keeping users up for months instead of days.
Moorhead, MN – Police in the quirky town of Moorhead were very surprised to find 800 pounds of Qiameth in the trunk of a car that they found parked at a stop sign.
The Qiameth, which is known to be 1,000 times more powerful than regular meth, has an estimated street value of $2.4 Billion.
The driver and passenger, who both looked like zombies because they had not slept in months, admittedly said they thought it was OK to park at the stop sign but swore they did not have a clue as to how the $2.4 Billion worth of Qiameth got into their trunk, along with some used meth pipes and coloring books.
Moorhead police are calling this the largest drug bust in our nation’s history and are asking citizens to report any unusual behavior to the new hotline: 1-800-QIAMETH.