Don’t be surprised if Secret Santa drops in at your place of work before Christmas!
Fargo, ND – Secret Santa has recently been making the rounds at many local Fargo businesses.
For any employees who choose to participate in their Secret Santa program, it’s a chance to find out what are some of the hot items for Christmas this year.
Your FM Observer has conveniently compiled a list for you of this year’s top items that people are receiving from Secret Santa:
◘ Anything Trump ◘ Butterscotch Pudding ◘ A small box of Heath Bars ◘ Small plastic Elephants ◘ A can of Mackerel ◘ Any signed book by Deepak Chopra ◘ A box of dried Kasoori Methi leaves ◘ Barbie Bubblegum-flavored mouthwash ◘ A box of traditional Cracker Jack (includes prize!) ◘ A box of marsh-mellow Moon Pies ◘ A small bottle of Johnny’s French Dip Au Jus ◘ A Jesus candle (from the Mexican section at Cashwise) ◘ Flavored Pocky Biscuit Sticks (by Glico) ◘ A box of Prawn Crackers
There is a real Santa, and he’s being detained for questioning in Moorhead until after Christmas.
Moorhead, MN – Authorities in the quirky town of Moorhead have detained a man claiming to be the real Santa.
Investigators have a plan to hold the Santa Man until after Christmas to prove that either he is an impostor, or that he is indeed the real Santa, in which case millions of children throughout the world will not receive any presents for Christmas.
In the meantime, the Santa Man has requested some eggnog and cookies to help keep his spirits up, and some hay and salt blocks for his team of nine reindeer.
If you and your children would like to come and visit the Santa Man in jail to request presents for Christmas and possibly pet Rudolph and his friends in a temporary petting zoo, simply contact the Moorhead authorities who are detaining the real Santa and who are possibly going to ruin Christmas for everyone on Santa’s Nice List.
Santa is asking his attorney: “Since when did groping become so politically incorrect?” Santa’s also wondering: “Why doesn’t anyone want to come near me?”
Fargo, ND – One of the real fake Santas at a well-known local Fargo shopping mall has resigned amid numerous accusations of groping any women within a “reasonable groping distance”.
Some disgusted mothers and dejected helper-elves have filed complaints to the North Pole that Santa has been groping some of these adult women during official mall photos, and even during some of Santa’s own selfies and elfies.
Renta Santa, the company from whence the mall allegedly hired this Santa, has denied any legal culpability but did say that this particular Santa had once been a Minnesota state senator who had left the arena of politics due to some “inappropriate sexual behavior”.
A linguistics expert that we consulted with said that the term “Mall” will soon no longer be politically correct because it is homonymistically so very similar to the word “Maul”.