West Fargo Runners Admit To Drinking Mt. Dew Before Running 3-Minute Mile

August 9th, 2017 | by Johnnny

With the help of Mt. Dew, the world record was just shattered by these two West Fargo heroes.

West Fargo, ND – After two West Fargo athletes broke the three-minute mile barrier, they both admitted to cheating by drinking a couple Mountain Dews prior to their record-breaking race.

Zippy Blistad and Flasher Perkins both ran a mile in just under three minutes during the final race of the day.

During their post-race interview with ESPN each of the boys openly admitted to drinking “a lot” of Mountain Dew soda pop soft drink to boost their racing parameters.

Obviously it worked. Unfortunately, both athletes will be banned from the Olympix due to new Doping Standards imposed after recent revelations revealing rampant rule regulations.

If you and your family would like to meet and greet Zippy and Flasher and also perhaps congratulate them on their amazing accomplishment, the boys will be doing a Congratulatory Run through the streets of West Fargo. If they look at all tired or slow, offer them up some Mt. Dew for a nice little kick-start.


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express.