If you find yourself dreaming that you’re on a cruise ship, get tested for the Corona Virus before waking up.
Fargo, ND – While sleeping soundly in his Fargo home, a man who had a dream of being on a cruise ship woke up testing positive for the Corona Virus.
After deciding to self-quarantine in his bedroom, the man fell back asleep only to find himself back on the same cruise ship where he could at least be quarantined somewhere else besides his Fargo bedroom.
Once the dream cruise ship ran out of food, hunger caused the man to wake up again back in his Fargo bedroom only to discover that he did not actually have the Corona Virus and that the whole thing had been part of a larger dream.
To celebrate the fact that he was now truly testing negative for the Corona Virus, the man booked a cruise on a real cruise ship where he subsequently did actually catch the Corona Virus and as you might expect is now quarantined on that particular cruise ship.
Interestingly, while actually being quarantined now on a real cruise ship, the Fargo man in question had a dream that he was waking up back in his Fargo bedroom and testing negative for the Corona Virus.
We are very sorry. For causing any trouble. We did not know. That our presence on Earth. Was going to be such a big deal.
Stephen, MN – The mysterious UFO encounter which happened in Minnesota’s Marshall county forty years ago has finally been solved.
Three space aliens who had recently been detained on unrelated drug charges confessed to flying the orb-like spaceship which was at the center of the infamous 1979 UFO sighting.
“Yes, it was our Orb cruiser which caused the bright light and then accidentally struck the squad car of Deputy Val Johnson near Stephen Minnesota,” said the three spaced aliens, as translated through their alien attorney.
The three undocumented aliens went on to say: “We mean the people of Earth no harm. We only wanted to co-mingle and party with you frackers. Even though you’re a relatively primitive species, we admire your gumption and spunk.”
Fargo, ND – “Drastic times require drastic measures,” notes Marvin Nimmaster, president of the Red River Coast Guard Society as the City of Fargo has voted unanimously to purchase a Class-D All-Weather Icebreaker from the country of Iceland as Algore’s Global Cooling Initiative begins to pick up some glacial momentum from the International Council of Temperature Mitigation efforts to manage Earth’s water’s changing modal properties.
The USS Fargo along with its highly trained crew of 75 will work tirelessly to keep the Red River of the North ice-free from Wahpeton to Winnipeg as concerned climatologists foresee many major ice storms which threaten to shut down the transportational aspect of our economy leaving only the Red River as the last viable means to thorough-fare goods and people to differing latitudes.
Marvin Nimmaster on the reality of Global Cooling: “The imminent threat of the Earth icing up like a giant snow cone is no longer an arguable hoax that can be joked about by climatological comedians but rather is as real as the moose standing in the middle of the road as your vehicle is trying to slam on its brakes to avoid having the thousand pound beast land in your lap while you’re trying to get to grandma’s house to go sip some eggnog.”