July 4th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Spinnerville, NY – Governmental experts are now warning inhabitants of Earth that the spinning of our planet is really speeding up. Algore, who seems to be the most expert expert on this impotent issue, is predicting that...
June 19th, 2018 | by
Johnnny Wetonka, SD – With the sudden gradual onset of Global Wetting, marshlands in our area are beginning to get really bogged down. “These low-lying wetlands are becoming so darned waterlogged that some are now being...
November 27th, 2017 | by
Johnnny St. Paul, MN – A recently completed study for the state of Minnesota has made an astonishing discovery about the year 2100. Minnesota scientists, working with NASA, have determined that the year 2100 in Earth Years is only...
December 23rd, 2016 | by
Johnnny Fargo, ND – “Drastic times require drastic measures,” notes Marvin Nimmaster, president of the Red River Coast Guard Society as the City of Fargo has voted unanimously to purchase a Class-D All-Weather...
October 27th, 2016 | by
Johnnny Duluth, MN – University of Minnesota at Duluth researchers have conclusively confirmed that Thursdays are now the new Fridays. Just as we at the FM Observer have longly strongly suspected, that all-important Friday slot has...
October 14th, 2016 | by
Johnnny International Falls, MN – After Global Warmers from all around the world met in Minnesota, they all agreed that slightly falsified data now conclusively shows that Global Cooling is part of Global Warming and that the only...
January 17th, 2016 | by
Johnnny Cavetown, Maryland – Recently, while hanging out in the lunchroom of a local hospital, we learned of an interesting phenomenon while sipping coffee at a table with some gastroenterologists. What we discovered is that many...
February 13th, 2015 | by
Johnnny Moonshine, Illinois – NASA has unveiled its new Noah’s Rocket designed to bring two of every animal species to the moon in a last-ditch effort to save the Animal Kingdom from an imminent world-wide cataclysm. N.O.A.H....
February 12th, 2015 | by
Johnnny Firestone, CO – This is National Bonfire Month designed to help fight against Global Cooling and the next Glacial Age. With average global temperatures showing a general cooling trend instead of the much-hyped global...
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