Recipes For Success

Dear FMO: How Can We Create A Quagmire On Our Property?
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Dear FMO: How Can We Create A Quagmire On Our Property?

April 3rd, 2019 | by Johnnny
Quamba, Minnesota – Ms. Geri Quam emailed our gardening and landscape specialist a great question: How can I create a green quagmire on our Minnesota lake property in order to provide some wetlands for animals and help save...
Global Spinning Is Increasing In Speed; Is It Too Late To Try And Put The Brakes On?
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Global Spinning Is Increasing In Speed; Is It Too Late To Try And Put The Brakes On?

July 4th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Spinnerville, NY – Governmental experts are now warning inhabitants of Earth that the spinning of our planet is really speeding up. Algore, who seems to be the most expert expert on this impotent issue, is predicting that...
Area Marshes Getting Really Bogged Down
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Area Marshes Getting Really Bogged Down

June 19th, 2018 | by Johnnny
Wetonka, SD – With the sudden gradual onset of Global Wetting, marshlands in our area are beginning to get really bogged down. “These low-lying wetlands are becoming so darned waterlogged that some are now being...
Expensive Study Finds That Year 2100 Is Only About 82 Years Away
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Expensive Study Finds That Year 2100 Is Only About 82 Years Away

November 27th, 2017 | by Johnnny
St. Paul, MN – A recently completed study for the state of Minnesota has made an astonishing discovery about the year 2100. Minnesota scientists, working with NASA, have determined that the year 2100 in Earth Years is only...
Global Cooling Forces Fargo To Purchase Ice Breaker For Red River
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Global Cooling Forces Fargo To Purchase Ice Breaker For Red River

December 23rd, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – “Drastic times require drastic measures,” notes Marvin Nimmaster, president of the Red River Coast Guard Society as the City of Fargo has voted unanimously to purchase a Class-D All-Weather...
Researchers Confirm That Thursday Is The New Friday
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Researchers Confirm That Thursday Is The New Friday

October 27th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Duluth, MN – University of Minnesota at Duluth researchers have conclusively confirmed that Thursdays are now the new Fridays. Just as we at the FM Observer have longly strongly suspected, that all-important Friday slot has...
Global Warmers Now Say Global Cooling Is Evidence Of Long Term Warming Trend
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Global Warmers Now Say Global Cooling Is Evidence Of Long Term Warming Trend

October 14th, 2016 | by Johnnny
International Falls, MN – After Global Warmers from all around the world met in Minnesota, they all agreed that slightly falsified data now conclusively shows that Global Cooling is part of Global Warming and that the only...
Cave Exploration Not Unlike Doing A Colonoscopy
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Cave Exploration Not Unlike Doing A Colonoscopy

January 17th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Cavetown, Maryland – Recently, while hanging out in the lunchroom of a local hospital, we learned of an interesting phenomenon while sipping coffee at a table with some gastroenterologists. What we discovered is that many...
NASA Rocket Launch Bringing Two Of Every Species To The Moon
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NASA Rocket Launch Bringing Two Of Every Species To The Moon

February 13th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Moonshine, Illinois – NASA has unveiled its new Noah’s Rocket designed to bring two of every animal species to the moon in a last-ditch effort to save the Animal Kingdom from an imminent world-wide cataclysm. N.O.A.H....
National Bonfire Month To Help Combat Global Cooling
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National Bonfire Month To Help Combat Global Cooling

February 12th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Firestone, CO – This is National Bonfire Month designed to help fight against Global Cooling and the next Glacial Age. With average global temperatures showing a general cooling trend instead of the much-hyped global...
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