If Hannah becomes the next Miss North Dakota, she will represent ND in the Miss America Pageant!
Williston, ND – The next Miss North Dakota pageant will include its first-ever male competitor.
Hannah Bouncy who grew up on the outskirts of Zap, North Dakota is biologically male but she has totally identified as being female since first grade.
“I am so very wonderfully excited and blessed to be allowed to compete in the next Miss North Dakota competition,” says Hannah with a tear, as she repeatedly bench presses 285 pounds in preparation to compete for the Miss North Dakota crown.
The entire Bouncy family is decorating a bus with posters and balloons to help bring Hannah to a win in North Dakota so that she can go on to represent the great state of North Dakota in the national Miss America Pageant!
Venus, FL – With men mostly in charge of things here on Earth, and with the general state of affairs going from bad to worse, women are banding together to head out to their very own beautiful planet: Venus!
Earth women are getting so sick and tired of men running the show into the ground that plans are “in the works” for all women, who are willing and able to make the trip, to travel to their original home planet and once again, make it their home, where men are not allowed!
Pretty much any woman we spoke with said: “Men have created such a Global SNAFU here on Planet Earth that we are packing our bags and getting ready to head on out of here!”
Most men we asked about this were too busy fighting to realize what’s going on.
Debra Getty-Widder: NFL’s first female quarterback is more than ready to step up!
Viking, MN – The Minnesota Vikings’ quarterback controversy seems to finally be resolving itself in dramatic fashion.
Whilst Sam Bradford is heading to the Injured Reserve list, the Minisoda Vikings have signed Debra Getty-Widder who will not only be the Viking’s new starting quarterback but also the first female quarterback in the history of the national football league.
Debra was understandably unavailable for comment after fully participating in practices this week, however Coach Mike Zimmer did tell us: “Debra has done great in practice, seems to move well, and is throwing the ball very accurately. Now we just want to get everybody feeling comfortable with the new situation.”
Ironically, all the letters in Debra Getty-Widder can be re-arranged to spell: Teddy Bridgewater!
Pink, Oklahoma – The U.S. Military working in conjunction with the color pink has come up with new pink night-vision goggles for its female fighting force.
The traditional green phosphor night-vision was designed for males whose eyes are more sensitive to the green color pallet.
But Dr. Ivon Pinski who heads up Project Pink says the female eye is most sensitive to fifty shades of pink.
Dr. Pinski: “Ya, we pink this will really help our female combat warriors during night-time missions. Plus it shows we care about all pink causes without having to wear a pink ribbon on their already pink camouflage fatigues.”
Coincidentally, all the letters in Ivon Pinski can be re-arranged into: Pink Vision!