Pink is the new Green.
Pink, Oklahoma – The U.S. Military working in conjunction with the color pink has come up with new pink night-vision goggles for its female fighting force.
The traditional green phosphor night-vision was designed for males whose eyes are more sensitive to the green color pallet.
But Dr. Ivon Pinski who heads up Project Pink says the female eye is most sensitive to fifty shades of pink.
Dr. Pinski: “Ya, we pink this will really help our female combat warriors during night-time missions. Plus it shows we care about all pink causes without having to wear a pink ribbon on their already pink camouflage fatigues.”
Coincidentally, all the letters in Ivon Pinski can be re-arranged into: Pink Vision!
Men and Women will no longer be segregated into separate bathrooms.
Fargo, ND – To avoid any possible messy lawsuits, all public and private businesses in Fargo will now be required to allow anyone to use whichever bathroom they want based on how they feel at that moment.
So, if you’re biologically male, but feel like using the bathroom normally intended for females, you just go right ahead and do so.
“Why should women be the only ones who are allowed to use the nicer women’s restrooms?”, complains Mort Rose, a professional activist who founded the group: Social Unrest Crisis Kitchen, or SUCK for short.
Mort Rose goes on: “The old paradigm of men go here and women go there is based on a segregational model, which I believe has been outlawed – because it’s just plain wrong!”
All across F-Town, signs that used to say “Men” and “Women” will now be replaced with signs that just say “Bathroom” or “Restroom”.