Tag Archives: quarterback

The New Aaron Rodgers $10 Bills Are Very Popular In Wisconsin

The new $10 “Buck Rodgers”

Green Bay, Wisconsin – Folks in the cheese state are snapping up the new $10 federal reserve notes like chiclets.

After quarterback Aaron Rodgers signed his new mega-million dollar contract which runs thru 2023, the U.S. Mint in Milwaukee started printing the new Aaron Rodgers $10 bills mostly for circulation in Wisconsin.

Derck Burgos, who initiated the idea, says that cheese heads are really loving their new currency.

“Even tho Wisconsinites are loving having their beloved quarterback on the ten-spot, we don’t think people in Chicago or Minneapolis are going to go for these new bills,” opines Mr. Burgos.

Ironically, all the letters in Derck Burgos can be re-arranged to spell: Buck Rodgers!

Vikings Place Sam Bradford On Injured Reserve And Activate Debra Getty-Widder

Debra Getty-Widder: NFL’s first female quarterback is more than ready to step up!

Viking, MN – The Minnesota Vikings’ quarterback controversy seems to finally be resolving itself in dramatic fashion.

Whilst Sam Bradford is heading to the Injured Reserve list, the Minisoda Vikings have signed Debra Getty-Widder who will not only be the Viking’s new starting quarterback but also the first female quarterback in the history of the national football league.

Debra was understandably unavailable for comment after fully participating in practices this week, however Coach Mike Zimmer did tell us: “Debra has done great in practice, seems to move well, and is throwing the ball very accurately. Now we just want to get everybody feeling comfortable with the new situation.”

Ironically, all the letters in Debra Getty-Widder can be re-arranged to spell: Teddy Bridgewater!

Are NFL Draft Hopefuls Tanking To Avoid Being Drafted By The Browns? An FM Observer Investigative Report


A history of unlucky players (taken from Wikipedia)

An unfortunate history of unlucky players (via Wikipedia)

Cleveland, OH—An FM Observer investigative report concludes without a doubt that a number of surefire first-round NFL draft picks have been under-performing for scouts at the combine and during private team workouts in an effort to reduce the likelihood that the Cleveland Browns football team will pick them with the #4 overall selection.

The Observer spoke candidly with a number of potential top-10 recruits who all seemed to reflect a similar distaste for the Browns franchise.

“If you look at it, this is Cleveland’s 7th top-ten pick since 2004. They haven’t been getting any better as a result. Just between you and me…I don’t want any part of it. A couple million bucks is worth falling from 4 to 6 if it means not playing for them,” said first-round hopeful Johnny Manziel. “Could I make the team better? Maybe I could, up until they cut me. Let’s face it–we all know the Browns aren’t winning any Super Bowls. Not in this lifetime.”

QBsBlake Bortles, who is projected to go in the top 10, sat uncomfortably as we talked about the possibility of him being taken #4 overall. “I think I’m top-five material, but man, when Cleveland brought me in for a workout…I…I really stunk it up. I threw with my left arm instead of my right in hopes that they wouldn’t like me. I also guessed randomly on the Wonderlic. That should throw them off my trail. Damn…being a top-five prospect is scary. The risk outweighs the reward. Big time.”

A.J. McCarron cut right to the chase during his sit-down interview. “Signing a 4-year contract with Cleveland is every player’s worst nightmare,” he said. “I lay awake at night, sweating, biting my nails, fearfully imagining what life would be like as a Brown. Sure, there’s money, but you…you’re a Brown. It’s a death sentence. Yay! Every Sunday I get to suit up in that ugly uniform, take a cold-weather beating, then explain to the media what went wrong. No thank you.”

Christian Ponder Was The 12th Overall Pick In The 2011 Draft

Christian-Ponder-at-KFANA little over two years ago, the Purple saw what they thought was a precious jewel. An opportunity to fill a need. After many MONTHS of scouting that included team workouts, the NFL Combine, player interviews, relentless film study, research and preparation—amidst eligible QB draftees such as Andy Dalton and Colin Kaepernick—the Vikings selected Christian Ponder as the 12th overall pick in the 2011 NFL draft.

The rest is history…

The Vikings really struggle on 3rd down.

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

“This team is absolutely loaded with talent on both sides of the ball.” “…except at quarterback.”

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

There hasn’t been a Super Bowl-winning “game manager” since Brad Johnson won it behind a legendary defense ten years ago. Things are different now.

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

You know how your box of Lucky Charms always has that one really burnt-up piece of cereal amongst a box full of tasty goodness?

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

Since when has a bruised elbow kept a QB out of a freaking playoff game??

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

During 3rd downs our QB prances around back there like Michael Flatley with his ass on fire only before heaving it straight up in the air.

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

For some reason a former Pro-Bowl QB (yet only slightly more talented) was brought in exclusively as a backup.

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

It’s not against the rules to hike the ball directly to Adrian Peterson on every play.

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

Numbers don’t lie: #7 had a quarterback rating of 81 (not good) in 2012 and is 1-2 with an INT so far this year.

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

It will be at least another decade before Aaron Rodgers suits up in a Purple jersey.

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

An NFL QB’s 3rd season in the league is when we start to expect big things from him, because:

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

Remember last year when the Vikings benched Ponder in favor of a broomstick???

Christian Ponder was the 12th overall pick in the draft.

Get better CP, for the betterment of not only the Vikings, but of the league as a whole. Enjoy the season!

Christian Ponder Excited to Study Under Starting QB Matt Cassel

Christian-Ponder-at-KFANMankato, MN—Minnesota Vikings organized team activities (OTAs) have officially gotten underway at Winter Park. No one player is as excited as Christian Ponder. Ponder is treating OTAs as a prime opportunity to learn from Vikings starting quarterback, Matt Cassel.

“Studying the moves of a proven veteran like Matt will prove invaluable to me in the future if I ever get the chance to start again for the team.” Ponder said. “Matt is our guy now, and I know that. He’s a former Pro Bowler who’s won a ton of games in this league. I can’t wait to learn from him during camp and watch him play next season.”

Ponder knows that while coaches and even general manager Rick Spielman have labeled him starting quarterback going forward, that doesn’t mean anything in this cut-throat business:

“Our team was on the cusp of greatness last season. It makes all the sense in the world that they’d bring Matt in to get us over the hump.”

Ponder has been seen taking many of the first-team reps in camp so far this year. He attributes that to the Vikings’ solid backup plan, should Cassel go down:

“Coach Frazier had me taking most of the first-team snaps while Matt chilled on the bench. It’s a smart move, because I need to be ready in case Matt can’t play.”

Ponder has high hopes for his starting offense this season. He expects to take most of the reps as a starter up until the beginning of the regular season when games start to matter.