Tag Archives: green bay packers

The New Aaron Rodgers $10 Bills Are Very Popular In Wisconsin

The new $10 “Buck Rodgers”

Green Bay, Wisconsin – Folks in the cheese state are snapping up the new $10 federal reserve notes like chiclets.

After quarterback Aaron Rodgers signed his new mega-million dollar contract which runs thru 2023, the U.S. Mint in Milwaukee started printing the new Aaron Rodgers $10 bills mostly for circulation in Wisconsin.

Derck Burgos, who initiated the idea, says that cheese heads are really loving their new currency.

“Even tho Wisconsinites are loving having their beloved quarterback on the ten-spot, we don’t think people in Chicago or Minneapolis are going to go for these new bills,” opines Mr. Burgos.

Ironically, all the letters in Derck Burgos can be re-arranged to spell: Buck Rodgers!

All North Dakotans Now Required To Take An Annual Mental Examination

After being mentally evaluated, every North Dakotan will be ranked as either Green, Yellow, or Red

Green=Fine Yellow=OK Red=Bad

Bismarck, ND – With much of the national discussion being focused on mental health, North Dakota will proactively soon begin annually checking the mental health of each and every one of its citizens.

A new task force called MIND (Mentally Interrogating North Dakota) will do a thorough evaluation of all North Dakotans on their half birthdays.

Based on the official results of their mental examination, every person in North Dakota, over the age of nine (9) will be given one of three possible rankings:

Green Light: You are fine. No major mental problems were detected. See you again in one year, on your next half birthday. (For example: If your birthday is on April 15th, your mandatory mental exams will be every October 15th.)

Yellow Light: Some concerns were detected based on your responses to questions selected especially for you. You will need to be put on a MIND Watch List and retested monthly, until you are hopefully upgraded to a Green Light.

Red Light: A likely problematical situation was detected. You will be held for further testing to determine the magnitude of the problem. For your convenience, padded shuttle buses heading to Jamestown will be standing by.

Vikings Plane Misses Green Bay Runway Wide Left

Vikings miss runway wide left.

Green Bay, Wisconsin – The entire Minnesota Vikings team missed the Green Bay runway wide left while attempting to land a much-needed win against the Packers.

Toward the end of a very disappointing season, the Vikings team plane veered wide left off the pavement toward the end of the Green Bay runway.

The flight started out fine just like the Vikings’ season did but then the wheels came off both.

No one from the Minnesota Vikings team or cockpit were available for comment.

Former Vikings Mascot Now With Green Bay Packers

Ragnar and Rogers team up!

Ragnar and Rodgers happy to team up!

Green Bay, WI – After being let go by the Minisoda ViQueens, Ragnar has signed a lucrative contract with the Green Gay Packers.

Mascot Ragnar was recently let go by the ViQueens for “megalomaniacal insubordination” and asking for too much money.

Ragnar’s agent, Celedor Galbassi, said: “Ragnar thought he was asking for a reasonable raise based on his senior status amongst all the other NFL team mascots.”

The Packers were quick to offer Ragnar a sweet benefits package that he could not refuse, including a nice pay raise and all the free cheese he and his family can eat.

Mr. Galbassi did mention that Ragnar will have to paint his motorcycle gold and dark green, and also wear a cheesehead instead of the old horns.

Cutler Brings A-Game In Loss to Packers

Green Bay, WI – Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler played competely out of his mind football last night against the Green Bay Packers. Many are calling this performance “vintage Cutler” as he gunslang a total of 4 interceptions to the Packer defense en route to a 23-10 ass kicking.

Cutler made every effort to redirect the spotlight to the home team as he has year after year in Green Bay. The “Lambeau mystique” has taken Cutler’s game to new levels as he sets out to do everything in his power to make the Packers look good in prime time. “If they want a quarterback that doesn’t care, they can find somebody else,” Cutler said. Well put, Jay. You truly want the Packer fans to have a good time.

This makes Packer fans respect the Bears’ #6 more and more. Cutler finished with the lowest QB rating seen so far this season after throwing for a meager 126 yards and being sacked 7 times by a ferocious Packer pass rush.

It would appear that “vintage Jay Cutler” is poised for a breakout–I mean–breakdown 2012 season.