Oceans Rising Faster Than Predicted: Millions Moving To North Dakota

March 10th, 2015 | by Johnnny
Icebergs continually washing up on beaches making surfing a real challenge.

Icebergs continually washing up on beaches making surfing a real challenge.

Cape Cod, MA – As Global Warming continues to melt the polar ice caps down to nothing, the oceans are rising faster than originally expected.

Dr. Alice Melton, who is the top scientist with Make Earth Less Troubled (MELT) says: “We are seeing the oceans rise a foot per year which is twelve times faster than we predicted a month ago.”

Dr. Melton believes that at this current rate of rise, all of the states on the East and West coasts of the United States will be at least three feet under water by this time next year.

All these people are moving to North Dakota!

All these people are moving to North Dakota!

“Not only are all the polar bears swimming around with no place to sleep, but millions of coastal Americans will be floating in salt water if they don’t quickly up and move to North Dakota,” she panics.

The North Dakota Director of Tourism, Archie Doorbell, responded this way: “Well ya, sure, you betcha! Don’t cha know we gots lots of land up here in these parts! But a million people? I’m thinkin’ that sounds like an awful lot? We’ll just have to see about that, then, there!”


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Contributing writer since January, 2013. I've been described by myself as a piano-playing omnivore who hates typos but loves chocolate milk in his coffee. As a Life Coach, some lessons I like to pass onto others are: 1. don't stare at strangers, especially in jail, 2. don't leave fun to find fun, 3. never pet a burning dog, 4. don't eat more than you can lift, and 5. when in doubt, jot it down. Click on any picture in my posts to see them in their full glory. All have been tweaked with either PicMonkey.com or Pixlr.com/Express or Lunapic.com :o)