Moonshine, Illinois – NASA has unveiled its new Noah’s Rocket designed to bring two of every animal species to the moon in a last-ditch effort to save the Animal Kingdom from an imminent world-wide cataclysm.
N.O.A.H. (National Operative Aerospace Hyperchamber) is making its maiden voyage from Moonshine to Cape Canaveral via big truck trailer. NASA will then procure a prolific specimen profile to propel into space aboard N.O.A.H. After which, N.O.A.H. is slated for launch from the Cape in September of this year.
Top secret intel gleaned by FMO shows that in the cargo bay area of Noah’s Rocket will be two of every animal from Planet Earth. During their short trip to the Moon, the in-flight movie will be Eddie Murphy’s Dr. Dolittle. Once safely on the lunar surface, all of the animal pairs will be handed over to the Chinese, who have already secretly established a Table Tennis Complex on the Moon. In addition to Ping Pong, they will be able to add a much anticipated Petting Zoo.
NASA is working hard to make N.O.A.H. a success. “Between now and the day we launch, if science discovers any more species, we’ll be sure to jam em in there,” remarked project lead Whackite Bangtowner. Bangtowner, a Supreme Biologist, noted that there is one animal species they have not yet included in the trip. “If you know any homo sapiens who want to be thrust violently into the moon along with the rest of Earth’s creatures, please, don’t tell Obama.”