It may take weeks to put together the pieces of this puzzling death.
Fargo, ND – What began as a potentially fun afternoon gradually swirled into a personal implosion for one jigsaw puzzle tournament participant.
Mr. Lemm Tweed–Clopton entered the annual jigsaw puzzle tournament with high hopes of possibly finishing in the Top Five people to successfully complete a very challenging jigsaw puzzle in one very intense race against time.
Mr. Tweed–Clopton had not done very well in past tournaments but regular practice sessions seemed to have indicated some improvement.
Shortly after the tournament’s starting bell, Lemm began experiencing a major panic attack caused by extreme frustration from not being able to get any of the puzzle pieces to fit together.
When the ambulance showed up minutes later, Mr. Lemm Tweed–Clopton was pronounced dead, but the actual cause of death remains puzzling.
Unfortunately for him, all of the letters in Lemm Tweed–Clopton can be re-pieced together to spell:Complete Meltdown!
We are very sorry. For causing any trouble. We did not know. That our presence on Earth. Was going to be such a big deal.
Stephen, MN – The mysterious UFO encounter which happened in Minnesota’s Marshall county forty years ago has finally been solved.
Three space aliens who had recently been detained on unrelated drug charges confessed to flying the orb-like spaceship which was at the center of the infamous 1979 UFO sighting.
“Yes, it was our Orb cruiser which caused the bright light and then accidentally struck the squad car of Deputy Val Johnson near Stephen Minnesota,” said the three spaced aliens, as translated through their alien attorney.
The three undocumented aliens went on to say: “We mean the people of Earth no harm. We only wanted to co-mingle and party with you frackers. Even though you’re a relatively primitive species, we admire your gumption and spunk.”