Recipes For Success

Russian Roulette Club (Once Again) Seeking One New Member
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Russian Roulette Club (Once Again) Seeking One New Member

March 30th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Moscow, Idaho – A Russian Roulette Club is actively seeking one new member to fill the vacant seat of a former member who suffered a mishap. “In any game of chance you have your ups and downs, and unfortunately for...
Man’s Death Blamed On Panic Attack Caused By Extreme Frustration During Jigsaw Puzzle Tournament
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Man’s Death Blamed On Panic Attack Caused By Extreme Frustration During Jigsaw Puzzle Tournament

January 24th, 2020 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – What began as a potentially fun afternoon gradually swirled into a personal implosion for one jigsaw puzzle tournament participant. Mr. Lemm Tweed–Clopton entered the annual jigsaw puzzle tournament with...
People’s Militia Group Votes On Proper Punishment For Downtown Fargo Jaywalkers
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People’s Militia Group Votes On Proper Punishment For Downtown Fargo Jaywalkers

December 6th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – The People’s Militia Group which oversees the Fargo area, unanimously voted at their latest meeting for all Downtown Fargo jaywalkers to receive the death penalty. The head of the People’s Militia...
Fargo Man Crushed To Death While Trying To Carry 99-Pack Of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer
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Fargo Man Crushed To Death While Trying To Carry 99-Pack Of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer

November 21st, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – In an unfortunate incident involving the purchase of beer, an elderly Fargo man met his demise when he tried walking off with more than he could carry. Mr. Cantine Pinkney, upon seeing the giant cases of Pabst...
Doctors Believe If You Can Live Long Enough You Might Be Able To Live Forever
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Doctors Believe If You Can Live Long Enough You Might Be Able To Live Forever

February 20th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Stanford, CA – Would you like to live forever? What if you had the option of not aging? Medical researchers now think that if you can live another 30–50 years, you might be able to live as long as you want without...
Big Bird Dead At The Age Of Seventy
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Big Bird Dead At The Age Of Seventy

October 3rd, 2017 | by Johnnny
Sesame Street, NY – The world is mourning the passing of one of its favorite large birds. Big Bird from Sesame Street died in his nest whilst surrounded by his family and close friends at the age of 70, which is like 150 in...
Elderly Man Dies Peacefully At Home After Family Tells Him Trump Was Impeached
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Elderly Man Dies Peacefully At Home After Family Tells Him Trump Was Impeached

June 3rd, 2017 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Surrounded by family, close friends, and a few random strangers, Mr. Patrum McPhie let himself go toward the light after hearing the news that President Trump had just been impeached. Dr. Mutch Pimpare who...
Fargo Man Returns To Life After Clocks Changed Back One Hour
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Fargo Man Returns To Life After Clocks Changed Back One Hour

November 6th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – In what doctors are calling “highly unusual”, a hospital patient who had passed away during the early Sunday morning hours came back to life after the hospital turned the clocks back an hour to...
Casino Owner Smothered To Death By Huge Pile Of Your Gambled Money
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Casino Owner Smothered To Death By Huge Pile Of Your Gambled Money

April 23rd, 2014 | by Nick
Hankinson, ND—A pillar of the Hankinson community is gone. Locals mourn the loss of Wurlot Bong Maxomer, Co-Chief Operating Officer of Dakota Gaming Enterprises, which holds a stake in Dakota Magic Casino & Resort &...
Minnesota Couple Marry In Cemetery
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Minnesota Couple Marry In Cemetery

May 22nd, 2012 | by Bill Burns
AUSTIN, Minn – How do you gain the brides deceased parents respect in the non creepiest way possible? Get married by their graves in a cemetery of course! In an unconventional wedding ceremony, Diane Waller and Randy...