Mars, Milky Way – Even though scientists have now officially discovered life on Mars, they are admittedly a bit underwhelmed by the fact that it’s just some lichens.
However, top Mars lichenologist Dr. Charles Nim says: “We are lichen what we’re seeing with this Mars rover!”
Dr. Nim notes that it’s quite amazing that we’ve now found a mutualistic relationship of algae and fungi living and breathing on the Red Planet, but trying to communicate with it has so far been a challenge.
“These lichens are forming themselves into the shape of a human brain to supposedly better communicate with us,” the Nimster explains.
Using lichenometry, the orange lichen colony appears to be about 54 million years old but doesn’t look a day over 50 million years.
Going forward, Dr. Charles Nim shared this final thought: “We are lichen our chops to find our more about this life that we have discovered on Mars!”
As you might expect, all the letters in Charles Nim can re-arrange into: Mars Lichen!
Experts are wondering: If Mars has buildings, could it also have landlords and tenants?
Utopia Basin, Mars – After first discovering water, and then chocolate on Mars, NASA experts have now confirmed the existance of what appear to be buildings on the Red Planet.
NASA’s Beagle 3 has been sending back some amazing and surprising images since it landed just a few months ago.
“We were literally stunned to find actual buildings on Mars, some with what appear to be lights on inside them,” says Dr. Soni Flamer, who heads up NASA’s Look For Life program.
“These building-like structures that we are seeing on Planet Mars were perhaps never noticed before due to large sandstorms in the Utopia Basin area,” added Dr. Simon Rafel, who sometimes thinks he’s in charge.
Ironically, all of the letters in Soni Flamer and Simon Rafel can be re-arranged to spell: Life On Mars!
Man comes back from dead after clocks turned back an hour!
Fargo, ND – In what doctors are calling “highly unusual”, a hospital patient who had passed away during the early Sunday morning hours came back to life after the hospital turned the clocks back an hour to Central Standard Time.
Dr. Bernard LaFlange had pronounced the patient dead 35 minutes earlier.
But then, right at 2:00 AM, when the clocks went back to 1:00 AM, the older male patient returned to life just as if nothing had happened.
The man’s family was completely stunned as would be expected under such bizarre circumstances.
A spokesperson for the hospital admits that it is not certain whether or not changing the clocks back an hour had anything to do with the patient’s revival from the dead.
When the patient was asked about the incident, he simply responded that he would like to go to Denny’s Restaurant and order the Grand Slam breakfast platter and a pot of coffee.