Tag Archives: covid

West Fargo’s New Mask Strategy Is Basically To Not Upset Anyone By Imposing A Mask Mandate

Question: What is the mask strategy? Answer: To not do anything that would effectively slow the spread of the coronavirus.

West Fargo, ND – Rather than imposing a mask mandate like neighboring Fargo finally did, West Fargo’s wizards of smart decided to implement a Mask Strategy.

You may ask: What is West Fargo’s mask strategy?

Apparently West Fargo’s mask strategy is to “strongly encourage” the wearing of masks without hurting the feelings of any pandemically-challenged people who think wearing a mask is just too difficult. (Most anti-maskers realize too late that being intubated is a lot more difficult than simply wearing a mask.)

Unfortunately, it seems that strong encouragement and invitations for personal responsibility don’t get through to blockheads that either don’t understand the serious nature of a highly contagious pandemic or whose stubbornness will eventually lead to our collective demise.

The FM Observer would like to congratulate the West Fargo City Commission on having a special meeting to come up with a strategy that has less teeth than a jellyfish and which will result in zero effect toward stemming the tidal wave of exponential covidian spread.

Spiderman Says To Wear A Mask Just Like Him

Wear a mask like Spiderman!

Spider Island, Wisconsin – Spiderman says one reason he wears a mask is to not catch the coronavirus from people who aren’t wearing a mask.

Just like Spiderman’s mask, your mask should completely cover your mouth and nose with a snug fit.

“If it makes sense for doctors to wear masks during surgery, it makes just as much sense for you to wear a mask during a pandemic,” says Spiderman.

Besides washing his hands frequently, Spiderman also tries to always social distance by staying at least six feet above others.

Covid-19 Cases Now Reported Up In Heaven, Including Some Deaths

Saint Peter is now checking the temperature of new arrivals prior to entering the Pearly Gates.

Heaven, iCloud – The far-reaching global pandemic is now reportedly being reported up in Heaven where a number of souls have tested positive for Covid-19.

Surprisingly, a small percentage of those in Heaven with the Corona Virus have died from the highly contagious and deadly virus.

Until further notice, Saint Peter will be testing new arrivals for any signs of fever or other symptoms prior to entering The Pearly Gates.

Those who do not seem to have a clean bill of health will be asked to wait in Purgatory until they get well or until an effective treatment is available.