Cassette tapes are now constantly rolling at our FMO Corporate Office Park.
West Fargo, ND – On the advice of counsel (who part-times as a bouncer), the FM Observer has unanimously voted to begin tape recording all aspects of our entire corporate operation.
We believe that this will help us:
1. be more “in tune with the times”, and also 2. help document all forgotten ideas, names, directions, and warnings 3. which may come out of any of our numerous meetings, interviews, discussions, and arguments 4. which can literally transpire at any and all times of the day and/or night.
Plausible deniability would also be a nice (and much-needed) bonus for this award-winning website.
When you think of the FM Observer, think of us as your guidebook for the future, while also picturing our large storeroom full of cassette tapes stored in chronically color-coded shoe boxes.
The next time you pour milk on your cereal, think of the calf who should have gotten that milk.
Hollywood, CA – As expected, Joaquin Phoenix’s movie Cries Of Anguish won the Academy Award for Best Picture.
Cries Of Anguish is a wonderful movie about cows being artificially inseminated.
Then, the cow babies are stolen from their mommy cows for the veal industry, which prompts unmistakable Cries Of Anguish.
All of the stolen milk, which should have gone to the baby cows, is taken from the mommies, only to be put into our cups of coffee and onto cereal in your cereal bowl.
Joaquin Phoenix, in his powerfully delivered acceptance speech, showed that he is no joker when it comes to pointing out the wrongful entitlement that humans feel in order to inflict such violent acts against our bovine friends.
West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer, which began as a simple scribble on a soiled napkin in the dank basement of a defunct church, is so very proud and humbled to once again accept the most prestigious award for Best Website of 2019.
Because of all our faithful readers, we somehow earned this award again by being the main source of news for many people who trust us to provide them accurate information about the latest happenings in our ever-changing world of fluxational madness.
Our incredibly dedicated staff of hundreds, who sometimes sleep less than two hours per night, feel this award only motivates them more to get less sleep in the future.
If you would like to stop by our corporate headquarters to see our latest award, please also feel free to enjoy some excellent Lobster Bisque which was made especially for you!
West Fargo, ND – To celebrate the fact that the FM Observer has once again won the best website award in North Dakota, we are having a drawing for a brand new 1968 Mercury Cougar.
This gem of a car is a two-door hardtop which comes with a powerful 335 horse power V-8 engine, features hidden headlights, and comes with only 500 miles on it.
Not only was this the Motor Trend car of the year, but it could be yours just by entering your name for the drawing at our FM Observer Corporate Headquarters.
Other prizes include: a one-way trip to Grand Forks, a lifetime supply of shrimp, a personalized hot air balloon, rental property by NDSU, a double-decker house boat, and your very own office at the Red River Valley Zoo!
You can only enter your name once, but you can enter as many times as you’d like by using pseudonyms. Good Luck to all and thanks for reading the FM Observer!
Dr. Marv Hoppler thinks Fargo folks need some major help and he is willing to bring it to Fargo.
Fargo, ND – The FM Observer is proud to announce that Marv Hoppler will be coming to Fargo soon to do what he is famous for: Motivational Speaking!
Dr. Hoppler has won numerous awards as one of the best motivational speakers in the country.
His focus for this upcoming visit to Fargo will be how to accelerate your life in order to get up to speed with the rest of the country.
Marv in his own inspirational words: “Compared to other parts of America, Fargo people always seem be a few steps behind as far as their Speed Of Life. This special presentation that I have planned will provide some accelerated sessions on How to Accelerate Your Life and blast off into the stratophere to reach your full potential!”
Marv Hoppler will also be autographing his latest books which are entitled: How To Harvest Your Life’s Weeds For Maximum Profit Potential!, and Move To The Front Of The Class Up There With All The Real Smart People!
If you are interested in booking your power seat at the upcoming Marv Hoppler motivational Accelerational Sessions, simply call our front office and ask for Connie. Mention the magic words “Blast Off” for an instant 10% discount on any of Marv’s marvelous motivational materials which will be sold in the back of the auditorium by members of Marv’s large staff.