Tag Archives: bovine

Joaquin Phoenix’s “Cries Of Anguish” Wins The Oscar For Best Picture

The next time you pour milk on your cereal, think of the calf who should have gotten that milk.

Hollywood, CA – As expected, Joaquin Phoenix’s movie Cries Of Anguish won the Academy Award for Best Picture.

Cries Of Anguish is a wonderful movie about cows being artificially inseminated.

Then, the cow babies are stolen from their mommy cows for the veal industry, which prompts unmistakable Cries Of Anguish.

All of the stolen milk, which should have gone to the baby cows, is taken from the mommies, only to be put into our cups of coffee and onto cereal in your cereal bowl.

Joaquin Phoenix, in his powerfully delivered acceptance speech, showed that he is no joker when it comes to pointing out the wrongful entitlement that humans feel in order to inflict such violent acts against our bovine friends.


Dirty Cows Distrupt Traffic

Fargo, ND – Exhibitionist cows brought traffic to a grinding halt on Co Rd 17 in Fargo earlier this morning.  A pair of bovines were caught “doing the dirty” in the middle of the road the highway patrol stated.

The cows were getting it on so intensely that some perverted passerby was jailed on suspicions of masturbating in public.

One of the bulls didn’t take kindly to the state troopers attempts to interrupt the act so cops had to call in the North Dakota Farm Bureau to coax the animals into custody.

The two bovines are being charged with breach of peace and public indecency.  They were being held on $500 bail.