Tag Archives: art

Mandan Artfest Is A Continuous Celebration Of Outdoor Murals

All future outdoor murals in Mandan must somehow include a reference to a Lonesome Dove.

Mandan, ND – In the city that wants to be known as Mural Central, Mandan’s new Outdoor Artfest will run from October 1st to September 30th each and every year.

After the Mandan City Council decided to have their town be the most mural-friendly community in the nation, artists of all shapes and sizes will be descending on Mandan like lonesome doves onto a peace festival.

One travelling graffiti artist we spoke with explained: “Yah, cool man! Me and many of my friends are heading directly toward Mandan, North Dakota to basically live there and do outdoor art, because that is what we do, and Mandan is where we’ll do it.”

Proceeds From Famous Painting By Amsterdam Douglass To Help Fund Fargo’s Flood Fight

Pórtráit óf Ivóry Mittán by Amsterdam Douglass to be auctioned off to help save Fargo.

Fargo, ND Fargo’s very own Amsterdam Douglass is donating his most famous recent painting for auction to help raise funds for Fargo’s focused fight for freedom from feared forecasted floods.

The painting, which is cleverly entitled Pórtráit óf Ivóry Mittán is valued at $1.8 million because: 1. It is by Amsterdam Douglass, and 2. It is the last known portrait painted of the famous Ivóry Mittán before getting violently struck and killed by a distracted driver who was texting “LOL” to a lame Michael Jackson joke.

Besides helping fill millions of sandbags, you can assist Fargo’s flood fight by donating money to the cause via purchasing a flood fight T-shirt which displays the acronym: F.L.O.O.D. = Fargo Loves Our Own Diversion.

All West Fargoans Asked To Make A Rock Balancing Sculpture In Their Yards

West Fargo trying to set a new record for the town with the most rock balancings.

West Fargo, ND – The new mayor of West Fargo is informally asking all homeowners to build a rock balancing (sometimes called a cairn) somewhere in their yard.

FMO: What’s the thought behind this idea?

Mayor: West Fargo is already unique because there’s only one in the country. If every home in West Fargo had a rock balancing sculpture in their yard, that would really be cool, don’t you think?

FMO: Any tips or tricks on how to do it?

Mayor: Using rocks with some flatness helps, but basically stack them one on top of another, finding the balance point, with each rock placed on the previous rock so it feels solid like a tripod. 

FMO: Do you have any other ideas for West Fargo?

Mayor: It would be nice if everyone wore a name tag showing their first name just to increase our sense of community. 

Amsterdam Douglass Donates Priceless Painting For Global Cooling Fundraiser

True Blue Sky by famous local artist Amsterdam Douglass (minimum bid is $500,000)

West Fargo, ND – To get things kicked off for our Annual Global Cooling Silent Auction Fundraiser, local artist Amsterdam Douglass has graciously donated his amazing work called True Blue Sky.

Amsterdam Douglass: “Even tho it’s worth a lot more, we’re setting the minimum bid on this painting at an even $500,000 since fighting Global Cooling is such an impotent cause.”

If you would like to donate a work of art for this fundraiser, please contact Comrade Perkins. Kindly include your name, your highest level of education, and your suggested minimum bid.

If you would like to bid on any of these valuable works of art in the name of Global Cooling, bring a lot of cash and enjoy the music from The Sounds Of Silence during this very silent auction.

Million Dollar Painting Vanishes During Art Show

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‘Old New York’ by Lord Van Dyke

Fargo, ND – A valuable painting by the late Lord Van Dyke with an estimated worth of five million dollars suddenly vanished while the museum’s art curator was discussing its importance relative to the art world.

The painting had recently been donated to Fargo’s Museum Of Modern Art by Svenster Borgman, an extremely rich Norwegian benefactor whose lineage goes way back to the Fairhair Dynasty.

While renowned art curator Massi Miliano was teaching a master class at the museum about Lord Van Dyke’s painting which is entitled Old New York, it just suddenly disappeared into thin air right in front of the stunned audience.

Digital surveillance video slowed down a thousand times normal speed shows a man walk across the stage and simply carry the 6 x 6 foot painting out of the room.

If you see this man or the painting, please call the Fargo Museum Of Modern Art to claim your reward of one free ticket to the FM Derby Girls, and two free passes to the Golden Corral in Fargo.

Million Dollar Painting Found In Garage Rafters


Circus Sunday

Fargo, ND – Vern Vandegrift was lighting a cigar out in their cold, un-insulated, detached garage when he noticed something up in the frozen rafters.

It appeared to be an old dusty box.

Vern somehow got the box down from the rafters to take a peak inside.

He carefully slid a well-wrapped framed picture out of the old box and safely onto his garage workbench.

What he found himself looking at was a signed original painting by one of the most elusive French painters of all time: Jan-Panko LaPlonk.

The painting turned out to be the rarely seen “Circus Sunday” which had been lost since the mid-1800’s. Its value is estimated to be $1,000,000.

Now, Vern Vandegrift lights his cigar out in a warm, well-insulated garage. On the wall next to him hangs Jan-Panko LaPlonk’s rarely seen “Circus Sunday”.

Downtown Project Seeks To Turn Street Vomit Into Barf Art

Barf Art

Downtown Fargo Barf Art

Fargo, ND – The growing problem of vomit in the streets of downtown Fargo due to late-night binge drinkers has had city leaders’ stomachs churning for some time. However, a local group of forward-thinkers believe they have the solution: Barf Art.

With a project dubbed, “Regurgitation Appreciation: Let People Hurl”, or RALPH, the group proposes that downtown streets and sidewalks be covered in large white sheets of paper which people can barf all over, Jackson Pollock-style. The paper will then be collected, dried, framed, and put up for auction.

Proceeds from the Barf Art sales will likely benefit someone, but those details have yet to be released.

“Great art always elicits an emotional response,” explains project leader Chuck Upton. “Based on that idea, we think these pieces will be appropriately viewed as brilliant. For collectors in search of a statement piece, Barf Art will be organic and bold, yet intensely intimate. Struggling to find a gift for the person who has everything? Well, guess what? They don’t have Barf Art.”

Downtown bars and restaurants are being encouraged to contribute to the RALPH project by offering happy hour specials on drinks made with colorful liquors. Raspberry Kamikazes and Blue Hawaiians create drama and vibrancy in the art, while Bailey’s Irish Cream drinks add a subtle earthiness.

Free bar snacks, such as peanuts, pretzels, or chips and salsa will also be welcomed for their texture-rich qualities.

“We still have a few logistical snags to work out, but overall we’re super excited about the RALPH project,” raved Upton. “Our hope is that someday people all over the world will see barf on a wall and just know immediately…It’s Downtown Fargo!”

Local Artist Unveils New Masterpiece

Masterpiece to retrieve megabucks at auction

Masterpiece by Amsterdam Douglass to reap megabucks when sold at auction.

Fargo, ND – Super Artist and Renaissance Man Amsterdam Douglass unveiled his latest masterpiece to a small group of lucky friends the other night. Amsterdam Douglass calls the work: Slice Of Life. He also indicated that some of the cash gained from its sale might be given to the Slice Of Life Foundation, which essentially is a slush fund for hungry and motivated artists to eat, sleep, and paint, on a ranch for hungry artists. Volunteers will be needed at the ranch to serve coffee and cookies. If you have a special cookie recipe, please send it on a postcard to Ms. Honey McLove, here at the home office. Please include a note about yourself and your ancestry. Jean-Pierre Sloan believes that Amsterdam Douglass is perhaps the “premiere” talent today who crosses all borders of interest, gender, and style. Bi-weekly meetings are to be held in your neighborhood for family members to share a pot-luck dish of your own creation. A “Going Green” Hoedown will bring the community together just like the old days, starting with a Meet & Greet and the filling out of name tags. Amsterdam Douglass is also signing people up for a new neighborhood newsletter which will share ideas for ways to improve our existing social infrastructure. If you would like to be interviewed for the newsletter, again, contact Ms. Honey McLove and please don’t forget to indicate which department you want. Finally, we will end with a quotation from Amsterdam Douglass himself. “Between you and me and all the rest of the freaks, tomorrow cannot be as bad as today might have been.” Don’t forget to send in your postcard(s). Also remember that some of the proceeds of the art auction could possibly go to a “good cause”.

Missing Artwork Has Authorities Perplexed

flake2439607px1Fargo, ND – A very unique piece of art by the famous Andy Warhol which was on display at the Plains Art Museum has somehow gone missing. Twas Andy Warhol who once admitted: “An artist is somebody who produces things that people don’t need to have.” Well, the Plains Art Museum needs to have it back.

The lost work, which is entitled “Eclectric Snowflake #1”, was on loan from the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh, PA. Mr. Warhol was most likely referencing his Eclectric Snowflake masterpiece when he said: “I’m afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.”

It might have lost its meaning after Andy stared at it too long, but it certainly has not lost its value. The going price point for this neon snowflake is estimated to be around $8.5 million.

No one knows exactly what happened to the colorful work, but investigators have reason to believe it may have been kidnapped. On this subject, Andy once thought that: “Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.” Whether this quote of his applies or not, investigators are looking into it and leaving no stones unturned.

The two museums have set up a joint blue-ribbon task force to actively investigate any and all leads related to the alleged theft. “We have a hunch that the thieves might have been posing as night janitors” explained Ray Sharp, the lead detective on the case, “because of the discarded janitorial clothing left on the floor, in front of where it was stolen.”

The Plains Art Museum, which certainly now has some major egg on its face, has announced a reward for finding the 6′ x 6′ artwork.

Miv Grinks, the Plains Art Museum assistant curator said that if the Eclectric Snowflake came walking down the sidewalk, you couldn’t help but  notice it. Miv is prayerfully pleading  to the holders of the snowflake to please store it at the recommended humidity and temperature levels, which she will explain, if you would call her office during normal working hours.

If you personally have any knowledge as to the where-a-bouts of the Eclectric Snowflake, please contact either of these fine museums for your possible reward. At this time, the reward package is said to be a $25 gift certificate to Happy Joe’s Pizza, two tickets to see the FM Derby Girls in action, plus a free life-time family pass to the Red River Valley Zoo.