National

‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ Renewed For 3 More Seasons. Suicides up 80%.

NEW YORK, NY – The ever so popular unpopular show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” just got renewed for 3 more seasons.  Seriously, people still watch this vile garbage?  E! Entertainment network, another...

New Trend: Teens Getting High Off Toilet Flushing

Fargo, ND – In the recent weeks, 6 teens have shown up in the Sanford hospitals emergency rooms completely high and buzzed out of their minds.  One death is being reported as well.  This has caused concern for the local...

Red River of Fargo Accused of Being a Complete Dickhead Again.

Fargo, ND – Just when we thought the Red River of Fargo had grown up and become a more mature adult, we realize we were dead wrong.  Thanks to the recent rain, the Red River is back to being a complete dickhead again. ...

Local Man Depressed It’s Not Winter

Fargo, ND – Phil McCrackin is a family man.  A man who enjoys the great outdoors, spending time with his kids, and cooking his family large and exquisite dinners.  He is also a happy man whom his friends say is one of...

Jason Voorhees taking this Friday the 13th off

Camp Crystal Lake, America – The Observer has learned that in a shocking turn of events today, well-known blood fiend and murder artist Jason Voorhees has decided not to stalk & slash this Friday the 13th. This news...

North Dakota county hopes somebody will run for prosecutor

Cavalier, ND – Pembina county is in need of a lead prosecuting attorney. Amidst political controversy that forced the last county prosecutor out of office, the position has been left vacant for the past couple months. This...

Scheels All Sports To Turn Into Amusement Park. Will Sell Sporting Goods On The Side.

Fargo, ND – Scheels All Sports, the Behemoth of the Midwest, will transform it’s enormous and very popular sports store in Fargo into an amusement park the FM Observer has learned.  Scheels is known for its wide...

Michael Jordan is the worst at something

Charlotte, NC – Legendary NBA baller Michael Jordan is worldly renowned for being the best professional basketball player of all time. ON the court. These days, his Airness has been occupying the complete opposite end of...

Miracle, A Female Peregrine Falcon Returns To Fargo. Husband Missing.

Fargo, ND – Since April, many birds have started their seasonal migration back to the Fargo-Moorhead area.  One of the those birds is a peregrine falcon named Miracle.  Since 2008, Miracle and her mate Dakota Ace have...

Pop singer Madonna extremely satisfied with penis arm implants

Los Angeles, CA – World-renowned pop music singer and diva Madonna was recently asked in an interview about the satisfaction and comfort of her penis arm implants: “I absolutely love them. They fit me so well. They...