Jackpot, Nevada – A new comprehensive study by casinos shows that there are numerous health benefits associated with playing slot machines.
Essentially, the more time spent playing slot machines, the healthier (and sometimes wealthier) you become.
Doctor Simon Cleath who conducted the study for the casino industry says the results were somewhat surprising.
“We knew that playing slot machines was good for your health but just did not know to what extent,” Simon says.
Documentation shows that everything from blood pressure, to heart health, to cholesterol, to stress and nervous tension show marked improvements when comparing slot machine players to people in placebo groups such as prisoners, nurses, construction workers, and deployed marines.
So, if you were contemplating hitting the local casino today but were thinking maybe you should go for a nice long walk instead, “pack your bags and gamble all night at the casino, if you want to have fun, win lots of money, and get super healthy at the same time,” Simon says.
Ironically, all the letters in “Simon Cleath” can be re-arranged to spell: Slot Machine.
Latest posts by Johnnny (see all)
- Family’s Robot Vacuum Cleaner Found Guilty Of Terrorizing And Threatening Behavior - March 12, 2021
- The Great Musk Ox Migration To Come Directly Through The Fargo Area - November 30, 2020
- West Fargo’s New Mask Strategy Is Basically To Not Upset Anyone By Imposing A Mask Mandate - October 27, 2020
- Punditic Thoughts On The Vice Presidential Debate - October 8, 2020