Tag Archives: healthy

New Home Work-Out Program Called “Flatten Your Curves” Gaining Popularity

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Work out with Jack to help flatten your curves.

Fargo, ND – Are you stuck at home trying to work and/or just survive?

Do you have a ton of snack food in your kitchen, pantry, and garage?

Is this pandemic quarantining causing you to gain some extra weight?

Well then, you need to start doing the Flatten Your Curves home workout program!

The Flatten Your Curves home workout system was scientifically designed by the government to help taxes payers stay healthy enough to continue paying their taxes.

By doing certain exercises in a particular order, you are almost guaranteed to flatten your curves, just like our country is trying to do against the Coronavirus.

If everyone does their part by working out at home, together we can flatten our curves just in time for summertime social distancing.

Learn How To Learn How To Properly Vape By Attending Beginner Vaping Classes

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Learn how to vape the right way.

West Fargo, ND – Now that vaping is considered one of the healthiest things you can do, classes are being offered on how to vape in order to achieve all the benefits that vaping offers.

Dr. Grav Polisoto will be teaching new vapers not only how to properly vape but also what personal improvements you can expect to immediately see by moving into a vaping life style.

Some of the general benefits are: 1. vaping is easy and convenient 2. vaping can save you money, time, and hassle 3. it totally helps you relax 4. makes you smell good 5. can boost your social image 6. gives you something to tweet about.

7. Vaping is a healthy way to consume your consumables smoke-free 8. you’ll notice improvements in your oral hygiene, skin health, blood circulation, lung capacity and an improved sense of smell and taste.

9. You can have temperature control of your vapables while being able to choose between portable and large desktop vaporizers.

10. Vaporizers are durable and will most likely be around a lot longer than you, but vaping is something you can do until the day you die.

Sign up for Beginning Vaping Classes at any fitness center or wherever healthy products are sold.

Dr. Grav Polisoto (whose letters in his name re-arrange into Vaporologist) want all vapers to Be Proud Of Your Cloud!

Playing Slot Machines Good For Health

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Each hour spent playing slot machines doubles-down the health benefits.

Jackpot, Nevada – A new comprehensive study by casinos shows that there are numerous health benefits associated with playing slot machines.

Essentially, the more time spent playing slot machines, the healthier (and sometimes wealthier) you become.

Doctor Simon Cleath who conducted the study for the casino industry says the results were somewhat surprising.

“We knew that playing slot machines was good for your health but just did not know to what extent,” Simon says.

Documentation shows that everything from blood pressure, to heart health, to cholesterol, to stress and nervous tension show marked improvements when comparing slot machine players to people in placebo groups such as prisoners, nurses, construction workers, and deployed marines.

So, if you were contemplating hitting the local casino today but were thinking maybe you should go for a nice long walk instead, “pack your bags and gamble all night at the casino, if you want to have fun, win lots of money, and get super healthy at the same time,” Simon says.

Ironically, all the letters in “Simon Cleath” can be re-arranged to spell: Slot Machine.

healthy stoner food

Ridiculously Healthy Foods To Eat While High

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No time for a short intro!  Let’s get to the food!

 

mcgangbang

Yea baby!

 

Combine a McDouble and McChicken together into one.  Feel those arteries clog.  Often called the McGangBang.

Insructions: Buy a McDouble burger.  Buy a McChicken burger.  Take them both out of the wrapper.  Insert McChicken into McDouble thus combining them into one burger.  Stuff mouth.

 

Combining three cereals into one.  For example: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Corn Pops, and Frosted Flakes.

Insructions: Pour 1/3 Cinnamon Toast Crunch into large bowl.  Pour 1/3 Corn Pops into bowl.  Pour 1/3 Frosted Flakes into bowl.  Put milk into bowl.  Stuff mouth.

 

Lunch meat concoction.

Instructions: Get lunch meat and your favorite block of cheese.  Cut slim slices of cheese and wrap around some lunch meat.  Put wrapped lunch meat inbetween two pieces and toast.  Throw on some hot sauce.  Stuff mouth.

 

Macaroni Cheese Dish

Instructions: Make a batch of Macaroni and Cheese.  Put finished Mac and Cheese into large bowl. Make a batch of chili and put some into bowl.  Cut up a hot dog or two and mix into bowl.  Add bacon bits into bowl.  Throw in a little hot sauce.  Stir.  Stuff mouth.

 

Pretzel sticks and bbq sauce

Instructions:  Get a big bag of pretzel sticks.  Pour bottle of favoritae bbq sauce into small or very large bowl.  Dip pretzels into favorite bbq sauce.  Stuff mouth.

 

Spaghetti Pizza

Instructions:  Take out left over pizza from fridge.  Take out left over spaghetti from fridge.  Put spaghetti on top of pizza.  Heat in microwave.  Or, you have the option to eat cold as well.  Stuff mouth.

 

Pancakes full of stuff.  How big is your plate?

Instructions: Make two full, thick, large, pancakes.  Put pancakes onto plate.  Add your favorite toppings such as m&m’s, cut up twix bar, cut up snickers bar. and top with a little syrup.  Stuff mouth.

 

Classic potato chip sandwich

Instructions:  Toast bread.  Spread a generous amount of peanut better on one or both pieces of bread.  Add a generous amount of potato chips inbetween bread.  Add anything else you like such as pickles, honey, a cookie?  Keep bag of chips to your side for easy access.  Stuff mouth.

 

Snickers

Instructions:  Eat one snickers bar.  Eat second snickers bar.  Eat third snickers bar.  Stuff mouth.  Wait…you already were.

 

Nacho Cheese Doritos and then add more cheese.  One of Bills Favorite.

Instructions: Spread a generous amount of Doritos out onto a large plate.  Sprinkle a generous amount of  your favorite shredded cheese (sharp cheddar) on top of Doritos.  Put into microwave for 15-20 seconds.  Stuff mouth.

 

Powdered Jelly Donuts.  Can’t eat just one.

Instructions: Go to your local donut shop and pick up a dozen powdered jelly donuts.  Stuff mouth.

 

All of these foods are 100% accepted and fully endorsed by Bill Burns.  Stay tuned for Part II.