Tag Archives: dead

The Cemetery Is Good Place For Trick Or Treaters

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When trick or treating, don’t forget the cemetery.

Fargo, ND – Dr. Headstone of the Halloween Educational Literary Library Organization (HELLO) is reminding children who want to have a full trick or treating experience to not forget to take a slow walk through the local cemetery.

“It is often the last place one thinks of but is really the first place you ought to go when seeking to enjoy a genuine, old-fashioned, Halloween fright night,” opines Dr. Headstone whilst puffing on his old bone pipe.

Dr. Headstone reminds us that Halloween is more than putting on a Trump mask and compiling copious amounts of candy.

“It is the one holiday we have that truly commemorates the dead, and how better to do that than by taking a nice, long, spooky stroll through a foggy cemetery.”

Moorhead Hoarder Finds Dead Husband Buried Under Tons Of Junk

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I thought maby my husband had left me until I found him buried underneath some piles of things I wanted to hold on to for awhile.

Moorhead, MN – The Department of Health and Human Services is reporting that a woman who wishes to remain anonymous recently found her deceased husband under some of her belongings.

Agnes Elhart of 1313 Hoarder Drive in Moorhead now wonders “why would Clarence have been crawling around underneath my newspaper collection?”

Agnes further ponders: “Maby he was trying to hide from me after that one argument we had about what items to perhaps purge?”

A hoarder specialist working the case sadly wrote: “It is more likely that some of the mountainous pile of endless crap fell on the poor guy and ol’ Clarence was buried alive, until he wasn’t.”

Fargo Man Returns To Life After Clocks Changed Back One Hour

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Man comes back from dead after clocks turned back an hour!

Man comes back from dead after clocks turned back an hour!

Fargo, ND – In what doctors are calling “highly unusual”, a hospital patient who had passed away during the early Sunday morning hours came back to life after the hospital turned the clocks back an hour to Central Standard Time.

Dr. Bernard LaFlange had pronounced the patient dead 35 minutes earlier.

But then, right at 2:00 AM, when the clocks went back to 1:00 AM, the older male patient returned to life just as if nothing had happened.

The man’s family was completely stunned as would be expected under such bizarre circumstances.

A spokesperson for the hospital admits that it is not certain whether or not changing the clocks back an hour had anything to do with the patient’s revival from the dead.

When the patient was asked about the incident, he simply responded that he would like to go to Denny’s Restaurant and order the Grand Slam breakfast platter and a pot of coffee.