Tag Archives: dog park

Man Chased By Prairie Dog In Western North Dakota

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Keep a very safe distance from all prairie dogs, especially when they’re rutting.

Medora, ND – A tourist who wishes to remain totally anonymous was chased for a mile by an angry prairie dog, who “scared the heck out of me,” after the man apparently got too close to the prairie dog during their mating season.

The FM Observer has identified the victim as Mr. Opie Girard who lives at 1020 Poison Oaks Drive in Furndale, North Dakota, along with his wife Lunetta and their feline, Sparkles.

A spokesperson for the Prairie Dog Nation warns that mating prairie dogs should be left alone to do their business: “Just to be safe, curious tourists should not get within 25 miles of a rutting male prairie dog.”

Statistics show that after the buffalo, prairie dogs are one of the most territorial animals relative to their size, and the size of their teeth.

If you’re being chased by a mad prairie dog, run quickly in long straight lines, and preferably drop some snacky foods behind you as you attempt to scramble away.

Expectedly, all of the letters in Opie Girard can be chased around to spell: Prairie Dog!

New Chinese Poodle Puppies Come In Variety Of Colours

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You can literally get your Chinese Poodle Pup in any color imaginable.

獣兵衛忍風帖, China – Have you been waiting to get a puppy until new color choices were available? Were you wishing that the colors of Chinese Poodle Puppies were only limited by infinity? Have you been waiting to get a dog that would blow the minds of all your neighbors? Well, your wait is finally over!

Now, thanks to some advanced genetic engineering and a wide variety of new paint colors, you can get your new Chinese Poodle Pup in “pretty much any color or combination of colors” that you might ever want to consider.

Benga Chnikong is the President of the Chinese Poodle Pup Corp: “We are very excited about the future of our industry. After Ping Pong, we hope Chinese Poodle Pups are our second biggest export to the outside world.”

The FM Observer was lucky enough to receive about a dozen Chinese Poodle Pups in a spectral gamut of colours. If you are one of the first twelve people to leave a comment to this post, your name will be entered into a circular file out of which you could win your very own Chinese Poodle Pup. Sorry, only one per person, and you will have to accept the random color you’re given, and no exchanges or returns will be allowed.

Sting Operation At Dog Park Results In Arrest

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Public fornication

Fargo, ND – The police K-9 unit in Fargo, acting on an anonymous tip, recently enacted a sting operation resulting in an arrest at the dog park on 45th Street in Fargo.

The tipster, who shall choose to remain anonymous, informed police that he or she witnessed many acts of public lewdness and fornication occurring at the 45th Street doggie harem. Canines were reported by the informant to have been copulating each other in the act of “doggystyle” publicly, in broad daylight. The horror!

Fargo police, acting on this tip, promptly sent in a member of their K-9 drug-sniffing unit dressed as a prostitute to try & nab one of the alleged pervert pups. The K-9 hung it out there, and one of the dogs went for it almost instantly. Police crashed the sex party and arrested the drooling canine on the spot, citing “public indecency” among other charges.

Chalk up a victory for the Fargo Police Department for bringing another sex-crazed pervert to justice.