Tag Archives: dogs

Car Full Of Dogs Pulled Over For Excessive Number Of Lane Changes

Friendly car full of dogs given a warning for excessive number of lane changes.

Fargo, ND – What started out as a fairly routine traffic stop ended up anything but.

Officer Glasford Fulco pulled over a tan-colored Dog Caravan after noticing a number of seemingly unnecessary lane changes.

Upon approaching the vehicle, Officer Fulco was rather surprised to be greeted and licked by a car full of dogs.

Seeing no human driver, Glasford asked for a driver’s license of whichever dog had been driving.

Seeming to want to fully cooperate but unable to because of the extreme language barrier, Officer Fulco cited the entire car for excessive lane changes and simply a warning to the elder dog for not having proper paperwork.

Doggedly, all of the letters in Glasford Fulco can be re-arranged to spell: Car Full Of Dogs!

New Programmable Robot Kicks Dogs Whenever They Bark

The new Bark-bot programmable robot will stop any dog in your neighborhood from excessive barking.

West Fargo, ND – Do you have a daily problem with your dog or a neighbor’s dog barking too much?

Well, they finally have made a robot that does something worthwhile!

The new Bark-bot model X300 is specifically designed to kick a dog each and every time it barks.

Bark-bot delivers a powerful kick which you can adjust depending on the size of the dog.

Or, if put on auto-mode, Bark-bot will determine how hard to kick a dog based on its size and the loudness of the bark.

Jevon Gladstone says his little chronic barking Shih Tzu doesn’t bark anymore after getting kicked halfway across the room a few times by his Bark-bot X300.

Man Chased By Prairie Dog In Western North Dakota

Keep a very safe distance from all prairie dogs, especially when they’re rutting.

Medora, ND – A tourist who wishes to remain totally anonymous was chased for a mile by an angry prairie dog, who “scared the heck out of me,” after the man apparently got too close to the prairie dog during their mating season.

The FM Observer has identified the victim as Mr. Opie Girard who lives at 1020 Poison Oaks Drive in Furndale, North Dakota, along with his wife Lunetta and their feline, Sparkles.

A spokesperson for the Prairie Dog Nation warns that mating prairie dogs should be left alone to do their business: “Just to be safe, curious tourists should not get within 25 miles of a rutting male prairie dog.”

Statistics show that after the buffalo, prairie dogs are one of the most territorial animals relative to their size, and the size of their teeth.

If you’re being chased by a mad prairie dog, run quickly in long straight lines, and preferably drop some snacky foods behind you as you attempt to scramble away.

Expectedly, all of the letters in Opie Girard can be chased around to spell: Prairie Dog!

Fargo Dog School Successfully Teaching Young Dogs To Communicate In English

Just imagine your dog being able to converse in English!

Fargo, ND – A new dog school now teaches young dogs how to read and understand English as a first or second language.

Scientific studies have proven that graduates of this Dog School in Fargo can comprehend English spoken to them as commands (ie: Stop biting me!) and also just conversational chit-chat such as “How are you doing?”

Dogs that have completed two semesters of study have an understanding of English equal to a third grade child, while four semesters will put your doggy speaking and understand the English language at the tenth grade level of their human counterparts.

If you are interested in enrolling your puppy in Fargo’s Dog School but would like to first see a demonstration, every other Wednesday at the Fargo Public Library graduates of the Dog School will proudly show you that they can not only understand spoken English, but also speak, read, and even write it.

Selling Stolen Pets Becoming Big Business

Your little Trixy could be sold multiple times at underground pet auctions.

Fargo, ND – More and more people in the Fargo-Moorhead area are having their pets stolen. If this isn’t bad enough, these pets are then sold multiple times at underground pet auctions, sometimes while having to wear funny costumes.

The Sheriff’s office says some of the “bad people” are claiming lost pets, getting them from the humane society, or just stealing them from running unlocked cars or out of fenced back yards.

We were able to witness an underground pet auction while wearing a Donald Trump mask. At this auction we saw one small Shih-Tzu originally named Trixy sold as Biscuits for $100, then again by that buyer as Bingo for $200, and then again by that buyer as Flex for $350.

Apparently during winter months, after a dog or cat is stolen, they are then quickly transported through a series of snow tunnels. The problem is getting so bad that some people are hiring guard dogs to protect their pets, but those too are getting stolen.

We asked the Sheriff and one of his deputies what the answer is to this pervasive problem? Their answer was, at least during the winter months, to not allow systems of snow tunnels to be built within city limits.

When learning about how wide-spread the problem is, the astounding number of pets being stolen shocked the Sheriff, but did not shock the deputy.

May Is Take-Your-Pet-Water-Skiing Month

Good times begin NOW!

Detroit Lakes, MN – With global warming moving into Minnesota lakes country, dogs and cats all across the region are excitedly anticipating hitting the water for some seriously fun water sports.

Your FM Observer is unofficially declaring that May is officially National Take-Your-Pet-Water-Skiing Month.

What puppy or kitten would not want to be dragged around a lake behind a boat to show the rest of the world that they have arrived?

Never mind the fact that the frigid water is only about 40 degrees because pets are warm-blooded meaning they were essentially designed for this type of activity.

Please send us photos of your proud pets showing off their lake-patrolling party prowess for a chance to win free a free meal at the brand new All-It-Can-Eat Pet Buffet House.

New Chinese Poodle Puppies Come In Variety Of Colours

You can literally get your Chinese Poodle Pup in any color imaginable.

獣兵衛忍風帖, China – Have you been waiting to get a puppy until new color choices were available? Were you wishing that the colors of Chinese Poodle Puppies were only limited by infinity? Have you been waiting to get a dog that would blow the minds of all your neighbors? Well, your wait is finally over!

Now, thanks to some advanced genetic engineering and a wide variety of new paint colors, you can get your new Chinese Poodle Pup in “pretty much any color or combination of colors” that you might ever want to consider.

Benga Chnikong is the President of the Chinese Poodle Pup Corp: “We are very excited about the future of our industry. After Ping Pong, we hope Chinese Poodle Pups are our second biggest export to the outside world.”

The FM Observer was lucky enough to receive about a dozen Chinese Poodle Pups in a spectral gamut of colours. If you are one of the first twelve people to leave a comment to this post, your name will be entered into a circular file out of which you could win your very own Chinese Poodle Pup. Sorry, only one per person, and you will have to accept the random color you’re given, and no exchanges or returns will be allowed.

Boy Gets Suspended From Skool For Saying ‘Shih Tzu’

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If it walks like a Shih Tzu and barks like a Shih Tzu, it’s probably safer to call it a Chinese Lion Dog.

Moorhead, MN – The day did not go the way young Raven Tufano was expecting. After doing his normal early morning routine which included taking his dog for a walk, he then headed off to school.

The teacher asked Raven’s class what different kinds of dogs they could think of. She started off by mentioning a German Shepherd since her husband was a police officer.

Raven raised his hand and said his dog named Skipper was a Shih Tzu.

After the class stopped laughing, the teacher asked “What did you say, young man?!” Raven repeated the fact that their dog was a Shih Tzu.

The next thing Raven knew was he was sitting in the principal’s office who was calling the boy’s parents discussing a possible one week suspension from school for swearing and class disruption.

Lesson to be learned: When in proper company, refer to a Shih Tzu as either a Chrysanthemum Dog or a Chinese Lion Dog.

Moral of the story: There’s a difference between being honest and being tactful.

FMObserver Staff Personally Testing All Of The Various Dog Shock Collars

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We personally test each dog shock collar just for you.

West Fargo, ND – In our successful effort to be the best website on the Internet, each of our dedicated staff members has been personally testing all of the different dog shock collars on the market today.

We know that many of our faithful readers are or soon will be in the market for a shock collar for either their own canines or perhaps for a neighbor’s pooch, by way of a friendly backyard suggestion.

Shock collars, if used properly, have been shown to completely transform an attacking Bob Barker into a helpful Mahatma Gandhi.

After personally testing hundreds of shock collars, our staff recommends the Bow Wow 2000 to be the best of the best.

The Bow Wow 2000 by the Stop-It Corporation, directs a friendly nano-second two-volt pulse of electricity to its client’s neck via a stylish battery-powered collar controllable by either a convenient remote control, your smartphone, or the collar itself.

For an even bigger job, our entire staff suggests going with the Bow Wow 3000!

West Fargo’s ‘War On Dogs’ Now To Include Deportation

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West Fargo dog catcher asks for voluntarily compliance to round up all dogs.

West Fargo, ND – The fastest growing city in North Dakota, known as the “City on the Grow”, has also just declared its own “War on Dogs.”

The most recent Dog Census revealed to city leaders that the dog population was growing four times faster than its humanoid population.

“Enough is enough!” declared Carl Fanzer, West Fargo’s Top Dog Catcher.

West Fargo’s new “War On Dogs” will include a simple 3-point plan:

1. Ask owners to voluntarily bring their dogs to the City Pound.

2. Hire professional dog catching teams to round up all remaining dogs.

3. Begin “Doggy Deportations” back to each dog’s country of origin. For example, all German Shepherds would go to Germany, Great Danes to Denmark, as so on and so forth.

To find what country your dog would be deported to, use this handy chart!