Vaticano, Italy – After first decreeing that there is no hell to worry about, now in a rather bold move, Pope Francis (aka Jorge Bergoglio) is telling all his sinful Catholic followers to read the back of the Bible.
The Pope’s own words, which were immediately translated into forty languages:
“Once you finish reading the Bible from front to back, then take time to also read the back of the Bible, as I often do, while letting The Holy Spirit speak to you.”
Pope Francis, while channeling God’s message, also mentioned that the back of The Bible is way after the bibliography, which should also be read, and then reflected upon while sipping some wine.
Another additional tip mentioned in The Vatican Magazine is when reading The Bible, one can glean additional secret messages from God by reading between the lines, and also by using The Bible as a pillow whilst one sleepeth.
Just imagine your dog being able to converse in English!
Fargo, ND – A new dog school now teaches young dogs how to read and understand English as a first or second language.
Scientific studies have proven that graduates of this Dog School in Fargo can comprehend English spoken to them as commands (ie: Stop biting me!) and also just conversational chit-chat such as “How are you doing?”
Dogs that have completed two semesters of study have an understanding of English equal to a third grade child, while four semesters will put your doggy speaking and understand the English language at the tenth grade level of their human counterparts.
If you are interested in enrolling your puppy in Fargo’s Dog School but would like to first see a demonstration, every other Wednesday at the Fargo Public Library graduates of the Dog School will proudly show you that they can not only understand spoken English, but also speak, read, and even write it.
Sopan Talleen waits for the Fargo Public Library to get some new books for him to read.
Fargo, ND – A young speed reader who challenged himself to read every book in the Fargo Public Library just announced that he has accomplished his goal.
Sopan Talleen is his name and reading a lot of books is his game.
Sopan is a twelve year old Mensa student who was discovered to be a natural speed reader at a very young age.
His parents recall that at the ripe age of four, Sopan precociously read the entire Hobbit and Lord of the Rings four-book box set in one week and with amazing comprehension.
Without ever taking any speed reading instruction, young Sopan reads an estimated 30,000 words per minute.
Now all young Sopan Talleen says he needs to do is simply “read all the new books that regularly enter the library which should keep me totally up-to-date on all the latest information that I need to know”.
“Rather than learning how not to fear, one ought rather learn what to fear.”
Fargo, ND – As a public service announcement, consider yourself now informed that author Stephen King will be reading scary books to children every day all next month at the Fargo Public Liberry. Times for the sessions will be quite random just to keep listeners off balance and on their toes.
Author King recently unveiled a new line of scary books called The Fear Factory written just for children from ages 6 to 666.
Some have called Stephen King “the king of phobia creators” but he sees it a bit differently. “My books simply magnify pre-existing phobias. Rather than running from or even trying to face your fears, one should learn what to fear and how to survive it.”
Here are some of the wonderful book titles from Stephen King’s new Fear Factory that he will be reading to children at the Fargo Public Liberry:
Who Is Under My Bed? Axe Me A Question Where Is Daddy Going? The Doorbell Sounds Weird Why Is The Floor All Red? Please Let Me Out Now What’s In The Basement? Grandpa Looks Blue What’s For Supper?