Tag Archives: dog pee

New Chinese Poodle Puppies Come In Variety Of Colours

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You can literally get your Chinese Poodle Pup in any color imaginable.

獣兵衛忍風帖, China – Have you been waiting to get a puppy until new color choices were available? Were you wishing that the colors of Chinese Poodle Puppies were only limited by infinity? Have you been waiting to get a dog that would blow the minds of all your neighbors? Well, your wait is finally over!

Now, thanks to some advanced genetic engineering and a wide variety of new paint colors, you can get your new Chinese Poodle Pup in “pretty much any color or combination of colors” that you might ever want to consider.

Benga Chnikong is the President of the Chinese Poodle Pup Corp: “We are very excited about the future of our industry. After Ping Pong, we hope Chinese Poodle Pups are our second biggest export to the outside world.”

The FM Observer was lucky enough to receive about a dozen Chinese Poodle Pups in a spectral gamut of colours. If you are one of the first twelve people to leave a comment to this post, your name will be entered into a circular file out of which you could win your very own Chinese Poodle Pup. Sorry, only one per person, and you will have to accept the random color you’re given, and no exchanges or returns will be allowed.

Art Show To Help Dog Owners Buy More Dog Food For More Dogs

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“Dog Food Factory” by Amsterdam Douglass

West Fargo, ND – The FM Observer will soon be hosting an art sale to help assist pet owners who cannot afford to buy food for their ever-hungry pets.

FMO Staff artist Amsterdam Douglass has donated his famous “Dog Food Factory” painting to get the ball rolling. Hopefully other area artists will jump on board once they see the benefit of helping people feed their dogs so that we can perhaps increase the overall pet population in our area.

Jerry Mumbo, Executive Director of Feed Animals Today (FAT) believes it’s good to increase people’s dependency on supplemental sources of incomes.

“By helping low-income dog owners purchase dog food for their little Shih-Tzus, this might encourage these people to eventually add a dog or two to their pack thus increasing their need for further assistance.” says Jerry.

Mr. Mumbo: “I’m sure everyone agrees it’s a real win/win situation: Hungry dogs get fed. Dog owners have more money to spend on beer and cigarettes. The assistance program creates good-paying jobs, like mine. And finally, neighborhoods throughout our area will end up with more and more dogs to shit in our yards and bark during our sleep.”

If you would like to help, dial any random phone number and tell whomever answers that you love dogs, especially when they’re untrained and off-leash.

Ask FMO: How To Keep Your Dog From Pissing On Your Christmas Tree

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I see. A tree. I pee.

I see. A tree. I pee.

Christmas Valley, OR – A reader asks: Dear FMO, We love our dog Bruno. We also love having a real Christmas tree inside our home. But we don’t love it when Bruno pees on our tree (and presents). Is there a way to prevent this? Thanks, Yuri Nator.

Thank you Yuri for your great question. We get this particular question a lot!

There are things you can try in order to prevent this such as: putting up a fence around the perimeter of the tree area, or providing alternative spots for Bruno to go like a fake indoor fire hydrant, or you could even implement the use of a shock collar.

But unfortunately there are just certain things that simply go against the basic laws of nature, such as: we cannot stop the flow of hot lava, the Minisoda Vikings will never win the Super Bowl, and Big Government will never choose to reduce its own size.

So, the short answer to your question is: NO. But please let us know if you figure out a solution to your problem so we can share it with all the rest of our millions of readers.