Tag Archives: donuts

Russians Hack Krispy Kreme’s Secret Recipe

The Russians might use this recipe to make spare tires for their military trucks.

Moscow, Pennsylvania – With no evidence to back it up, President Trump is alleging that the Russians have hacked Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and stolen their secret recipe.

FM Observer: So, what do you think about the Russians supposedly hacking Krispy Kreme’s secret doughnut recipe?

President Trump: I think it’s a bad deal, a very bad deal, which must be investigated.

Krispy Kreme Founder Vernon Rudolph: Impeccable presentation is critical wherever Krispy Kreme is sold. We must produce a collaborative team effort and never get hacked.

Krispy Kreme CEO Michael Tattersfield: Since 1937, we have striven and strived to be the worldwide leader in sharing delicious tastes and creating joyful memories.

Gov. Chris Christie: I am quite panicked right now! If I donut have my six Krispy Kreme Doughnuts every day I might have to close down a major highway while I have a major panic attack.

President Putin: This whole thing is just a big hoax. However, if we did hack the Krispy Kreme Doughnut secret recipe, we could use it to make spare tires for our military jeeps.

New Fargo Donut Shop Specifically Designed For People On Drugs

The Magic Donut caters to druggies.

Fargo, ND – Entrepreneur Jami Hendrix is opening a new doughnut shop in Downtown Fargo.

The unique thing about this donut shoppe is that it will be created with people on drugs in mind.

Jami Hendrix: “Rather than deny we hava drug problem in Fargo, why not accept it and then cater to it?”

She is calling her new biz simply The Magic Donut.

Ms. Hendrix: “We want to heighten people’s donut experience. We can do this with special music and lighting, cool interactivities, along with the general design and layout of the space.”

Besides having wonderful donuts at The Magic Donut, Jami is planning on having:

1. Jimi Hendrix music playing backwards.
2. Highly interactive donut areas.
3. Booths that keep changing shape, like Oprah.
4. Movies playing such as Trainspotting and Blow.

Question: What is the slogan of this new Magic Donut you may ask?
Answer: “Donut chew wanna donut?” and “We have very high standards!”