Fort Bragg, NC – In anticipation of hurricane Florence’s arrival, the U.S. government is calmly assuring everyone that it could not be more prepared for what could be the worst storm to ever hit the East coast.
Federal Emergency Management (FEM) proudly announced that it has one cot all ready to go for some lucky person who might perhaps be uprooted by Florence’s ferocity.
FEM administrator Barock Long unveiled the cot to the press corpse while offering these comments:
“I am very confident we are more than prepared for hurricane Florence. Besides this comfortable cot, we also have two battery-powered radios and a few bags of kitty-litter for your pets.”
With September designated as national hurricane preparation month, make sure you know where your family is and that you have a fully stocked liquor cabinet. Remember: You can’t spell Trump without “rum”!