Tag Archives: freak parade

Clown Parade Coming To Downtown Fargo :o)

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Hey, you can totally trust me! I’m just a nice friendly old scary clown!

Fargo, ND – Downtown Fargo will soon be invaded by thousands of clowns from across the country.

Many clowns will be descending on Clowntown Fargo because it’s the next site of the annual national Clown Parade.

Despite the fact that clowns have gotten more and more scary during the past few decades, some children are still attracted to clown parades, mainly for all the free candy.

But, how much can you really trust freek candy from a scary clown in a clown parade in Downclown Fargo?

Watch your local news for informational updates on the upcoming Clown Parade in Clowntown Fargo.

Or, if you need immediate assistance, please visit any of the local clowns currently living under the bridge over troubled waters down near Downclown Fargo.

Uncle Screwball Warning Trick-Or-Treaters To Avoid Scary Clowns Like Him

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Hi Kids! If you see a bad clown like me on Halloween, run in the opposite direction.

Moorhead, MN – As a public service in the name of survival safety, the infamous clown named Uncle Screwball (who is best known for freaking kids out) wants to warn parents and children to stay away from any scary-looking clowns around Halloween time.

Uncle Screwball not only wants to warn trick-or-treaters to avoid himself, but also some of his scary clown friends who also fall into the category of dark, bad, and twisted.

“It would be best to avoid: Doctor Loopy, Ga-Gonzo, Mr. Wacko, Nutso Job, Loony Brain, Big Bonkers, and Krazy Kook,” according the the admonishing Uncle Screwball.

The god-father of all psycho-clowns goes on to tell kids: “Bad clowns can be anywhere, so always stay watchful. They may be sitting motionless on a porch holding a bucket of candy, or hiding behind a large bush, or even quietly walking right behind you. Bad clowns have a lot of good tricks!”

Man Found Living Inside Fargo Piano

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A man was found living inside this piano in a Fargo apartment.

Fargo, ND – Unbeknownst to the residents of a Fargo apartment, a man was found living inside their upright piano.

Needless to say, the residents are “kind of freaking out” about the whole situation, say police investigators who are working this bizarre case.

“Now, in retrospect, this might explain why some of the notes didn’t work so good when we were doing some sing-alongs at Christmastime,” ponders Mrs. Anonymous who was willing to speak “on the record” if able to maintain her total anonymity and privacy.

Mrs. Evelina Volšek of 12320 Camden Place in North Fargo is now looking for another piano which hopefully does not have a strange man living inside of it.

If you know of a free, uninhabited piano which could be donated to Mrs. Evelina Volšek of 12320 Camden Place in North Fargo, please contact her directly, day or night, but please remember to respect her privacy as she wishes to remain totally anonymous.

Fargo Summer Games To Culminate With Shin Kicking Contest

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Fargo's Shin Kicking Contest to pit the best of the best against each other!

Fargo’s Shin Kicking Contest to pit the best of the best against each other!

Fargo, ND – The Fargo Summer Games will once again bring folks together from all Fargo neighborhoods to compete for pride and the respect of the community.

This year’s Fargo Summer Games, which will be held in Island Park, are expected to be bigger and better than ever, which isn’t saying much because last year many thought they sucked.

Organizers who have been drinking coffee around the clock have come up with ten different events to make sure there is something for everyone.

Event #1: Fargo Freak Parade is where everyone will parade down Broadway to Island Park dressed in their best crazy clothes. Awards will be given for the best outfits.

Event #2: Tree Swing Challenge is for anyone under 200 pounds to swing out trying to achieve maximum distance before hopefully falling into a pile of hay.

Event #3: Body Bag Relay is a repeat from last year in which contestants are zipped up into a full body bag and blindly try to hop to the finish line.

Event #4: Drone Domination will determine which of all the drone operators will be the last drone flying!

Event #5: Multi-Peril Crap Shoot is obviously trap shooting buffalo chips while being distracted by people hitting you with nerf worms.

Event #6: Beer Drinking Races for adults only is a combination of an old-fashioned beer drinking contest while racing around Island Park.

Event #7: Adult Insult Contest is exactly what is sounds like: Contestants holding a microphone take turns insulting each other with the winner being chosen by crowd noise.

Event #8: Peacock Roundup is a favorite event for kids of all ages. Children will try to catch as many peacocks in a large fenced-in area before the siren goes off.

Event #9: Round Square Dance – Fargo will attempt to break the world record for the largest circular square dance ever, so everyone will need to participate in this event.

Event #10: Shin Kicking Contest! This is the event that everyone is waiting for. The best shin kickers from each neighborhood’s qualifying rounds will be vying for the right to say they kicked the shin out of all their opponents.

Let the Fargo Summer Games begin! Watch for more details from event organizers as to the specific date and times for your events.