House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff doesn’t allow Republicans to have any pizza.

Swamp City, DC – On Day One of the House Impeachment Inquiry of President Trump, Chairman Adam Schiff ordered an abundance of luncheon pizza for the Democrats on the committee but did not allow the Republicans to order or have any pizza.

Ranking minority member Devin Nunes fretfully asked Chairman Schiff why the Republicans were not allowed to have any of the Democratic pizza, or even just to be able to order any pizza for themselves.

The stoically rigid chairman of the House Intelligence Committee responded by saying that the minority party does not have the power to order any pizza for lunch, nor have the right to share in any of the Majority’s pizza-fest.

When the Republican members asked what lunch options they had, Adam Schiff explained that any written requests the Republicans submitted to the committee would eventually be considered by the Majority party…in a secret closed session.