Tag Archives: mating

Teams Of Foreign Specialists Coming To Fargo To Study The Mating Habits Of Fargo Natives

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Mating habits of Fargo folks to be closely examined by Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs and his team of sexperts.

Fargo, ND – Fully equipped with lab coats and clipboards, multiple teams of mating habit specialists from various foreign countries will soon be descending upon Fargo for a long-term scientific study.

Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs will head up the research group comprised of experts from a dozen countries that are particularly interested in the mating habits of Fargo natives.

The scientific study team selected Fargo, North Dakota as the focus of their study based on numerous factors, including 1. general remoteness, 2. extreme weather, 3. excessive alcohol consumption, 4. regional birth rates, and 5. cultural diversity.

Dr. Notti-Figgs explains that their mating habit research study of people native to Fargo will be divided into three (3) main groupings:

◘ Volunteer Video Ventures (V.V.V.)
◘ Secret Stealth Studies (S.S.S.)
◘ Mating Methods Matter (M.M.M.)

If you would like to volunteer for the V.V.V. study, please contact Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs and his team.

If you would like to not be included in the S.S.S., please maximize the privacy settings on your smartphone, smart TV, and any other smart devices in your home and office.

Interestingly, all the letters in Abraham Notti-Figgs can be re-arranged to spell: Fargo Mating Habits!

Man Chased By Prairie Dog In Western North Dakota

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Keep a very safe distance from all prairie dogs, especially when they’re rutting.

Medora, ND – A tourist who wishes to remain totally anonymous was chased for a mile by an angry prairie dog, who “scared the heck out of me,” after the man apparently got too close to the prairie dog during their mating season.

The FM Observer has identified the victim as Mr. Opie Girard who lives at 1020 Poison Oaks Drive in Furndale, North Dakota, along with his wife Lunetta and their feline, Sparkles.

A spokesperson for the Prairie Dog Nation warns that mating prairie dogs should be left alone to do their business: “Just to be safe, curious tourists should not get within 25 miles of a rutting male prairie dog.”

Statistics show that after the buffalo, prairie dogs are one of the most territorial animals relative to their size, and the size of their teeth.

If you’re being chased by a mad prairie dog, run quickly in long straight lines, and preferably drop some snacky foods behind you as you attempt to scramble away.

Expectedly, all of the letters in Opie Girard can be chased around to spell: Prairie Dog!