Tag Archives: ralph engelstad

​Wealthy Benefactor Offers Conditional Money For Two Red River Valley Counties

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King Poladian Cordeiro of Cyprus

Las Vegas, NV – King Poladian Cordeiro of Cyprus has announced a conditional offering of very large sums of money for two lucky counties in the Red River Valley of the North.

King Cordeiro of Cyprus is offering Cass County $1 Billion for building the Red River Diversion project.

However, the Diversion project must be completely finished by October 31, 2021 or Cass County will owe the King twice his offer.

Separately, Poladian Cordeiro is offering Grand Forks County $500 Million if they can get UND’s team name changed back to the Fighting Sioux by January 1, 2021.

When asked why these generous offers for North Dakota, Poladian Cordeiro explained that he loves the movie Fargo, and he used to play hockey for UND.

The Ralph Engelstad Arena Being Dismantled Brick By Brick

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Bricks for sale as "The Ralph" is deconstructed as response to Fighting Sioux name change.

Bricks for sale as “The Ralph” is deconstructed in response to Fighting Sioux name change.

Grand Forks, ND – On the same day that out-going UND President Robert Kelley announced that the Fighting Sioux will now forever after be called the Fighting Hawks, workers quietly began the slow and painful process of taking down the Ralph Engelstad Arena according to the benefactor’s original instructions.

Back when “The Ralph” was first being built, Ralph Engelstad said that if the Fighting Sioux nickname ever fell victim to political correctness, he would have this most beautiful hockey palace taken down brick by brick.

As the Ralph Engelstad Arena is torn down, bricks will be auctioned off one-by-one along with everything else in the building, until everything is gone, and the site is once again back to what it once was, an open grassy piece of land where the Fighting Sioux once lived.

Fighting Sioux Fans Plan Freedom-Of-Speech Class Action LawSuit Against NCAA

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The land of the free, and the home of the Sioux!

The land of the free, and the home of the Sioux!

Grand Forks, ND – After it was learned that the NCAA is threatening the University of North Dakota with more penalties and sanctions if the fans continue to yell out “Sioux” at the end of the National Anthem, Sioux fans are planning to sue.

One older woman who has been attending Fighting Sioux hockey games since 1943 said: “This is complete bullshit – the NCAA telling us what we, the fans, can and cannot say. This really fricking bites. Makes me so mad I want to throw my dentures out onto the ice!”

Another fanatic, who is pre-law, opined: “I do believe a crowd of sports fans has the right under our freedom of speech to verbally cheer for a team in any way they see fit. The National Collegiate Athletic Association which was founded by “The Cowboy of the Dakotas“, President Teddy Roosevelt, does not have the power to limit fan speech before, during, or after a game.”

Litigious fans of the former Fighting Sioux plan on filing their complaint to petition the court to get this case certified as a civil rights class action lawsuit. Meanwhile, Ralph Engelstad was unavailable for comment but the word is that the gorgeous world-class Grand Forks hockey arena that bears his name will soon be torn down brick by brick.