Tag Archives: secretary

Top Ten Reasons Why The City Of Moorhead Secretly Changed Its Voting Locations

Good luck trying to find where to vote if you live in Moorhead!

Moorhead, MN – Without letting anyone know, Moorhead city leaders decided to change many of their polling locations.

Many Moorheadians are now wondering why their silly little town would change many of its polling locations without notifying its citizenry.

If you’re looking for reasons, here are some good ones that would explain the odd behavior of the City Council Leaders in this quirky small Minisoda village.

Top 10 Reasons Moorhead Changed Where To Vote:

10. Didn’t think college kids are old enough to vote.

9. Got some bad advice from the Secretary of State.

8. Wanted to keep polling locations a secret.

7. Thought a lawsuit would spice things up.

6. Felt like playing a joke on their city.

5. Thought that no one would really care.

4. They totally deny that they did it.

3. Wanted to give voters a challenge.

2. Simply a power trip gone bad.

1. Because they felt like it.

0. It was time for a change.

-1. Just for the fun of it.

-2. Hey, it’s no big deal!

Hillary Didn’t Even Have A Computer In Her Office!

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How can I send a frickin email if I don’t even have a computer in my fricking office?!

Capitol Hill, DC – Our chief Washington correspondent, Mr. Ben Ghazi, was lucky enough be present while President-Elect Hillary Clinton got brutally questioned by mean, extremist, Republican members of Congress.

FMO’s Ben Ghazi reports that when Hillary was asked about her emails, she cleverly remarked that “she did not even have a computer in her office,”¬†after which she yelled:

Hillary: “And even if I did have a fricking computer in my office, at this point, what difference does it make?!”

Trey Gowdy: “Why didn’t you have a computer in your office? That seems a bit unbelievable, in this day and age.”

Hillary: “Because, sir, I did not even have a desk in my office, and even if I did, what difference does it make at this point?!”

Jim Jordan: “With all due respect, Madam Secretary, could some evidence of wrongdoing by you or a member of your staff have been flushed down the toilet?”

Hillary: “No! Because, quite frankly, we did not even have a bathroom near my office, and even if I did, at this point, what difference does it make?!”

Peter Roskam: “It seems like you had a pretty stark office there. Could any incriminating materials have been swept under the rug, by any chance?”

Hillary: “Absolutely not! Not only did we not have any rugs or carpet to sweep things under, sir, we didn’t even have a floor in my office. And even if we did, at this point, what the hell difference does it make?!”