Tag Archives: sexology

Teams Of Foreign Specialists Coming To Fargo To Study The Mating Habits Of Fargo Natives

Mating habits of Fargo folks to be closely examined by Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs and his team of sexperts.

Fargo, ND Fully equipped with lab coats and clipboards, multiple teams of mating habit specialists from various foreign countries will soon be descending upon Fargo for a long-term scientific study.

Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs will head up the research group comprised of experts from a dozen countries that are particularly interested in the mating habits of Fargo natives.

The scientific study team selected Fargo, North Dakota as the focus of their study based on numerous factors, including 1. general remoteness, 2. extreme weather, 3. excessive alcohol consumption, 4. regional birth rates, and 5. cultural diversity.

Dr. Notti-Figgs explains that their mating habit research study of people native to Fargo will be divided into three (3) main groupings:

Volunteer Video Ventures (V.V.V.)
Secret Stealth Studies (S.S.S.)
Mating Methods Matter (M.M.M.)

If you would like to volunteer for the V.V.V. study, please contact Dr. Abraham Notti-Figgs and his team.

If you would like to not be included in the S.S.S., please maximize the privacy settings on your smartphone, smart TV, and any other smart devices in your home and office.

Interestingly, all the letters in Abraham Notti-Figgs can be re-arranged to spell: Fargo Mating Habits!

Peter Pan Claims He Was Abused By Michael Jackson, Until Tinker Bell Found Out!

Michael Jackson is looking more and more guilty until disproven innocent.

Neverland, CA – The real Peter Pan is now alleging that the late Michael Jackson sexually abused him in Neverland.

[FMO wonders: Was this the reason why Michael Jackson wrote “I’m Bad, I’m Bad, I’m really, really Bad!?”]

Michael Jackson is posthumously arguing that it never, never happened and all he wanted to do was just sleep with the forever-young Peter Pan.

Peter Pan’s attorneys are saying that Mr. Pan is willing to take a lie-detector test to prove that the truth is on their side (plus, it’s all on videotape).

Luckily for Peter Pan, Tinker Bell was there at the time, to protect him from Michael’s alleged lewd advances.

Once Tinker Bell caught wind of what was going on, she used her formidable Pixie Dust powers to thwart Michael’s possible pedophiliac activities post haste.

Woman Claims Woodrow Wilson Touched Her Inappropriately During White House Visit

President Woodrow Wilson allegedly groped a female visitor at White House.

Touchet, WA – A recently deceased woman claims that she was groped by then President Woodrow Wilson whilst she was on a group tour of the White House.

Ms. Gerda Powis of Touchet, Washington wrote in her detailed memoirs that instead of a group tour, it turns out she was on a “grope tour” after she somehow ended up in the Oval Office alone with President Woodrow Wilson who was only wearing a robe.

“He groped me and proceeded to touch me inappropriately against my will when I was just a young woman,” claims Ms. Powis who lived to the ripe old age of 109.

The Woodrow Wilson Administration was not available for comment however we’re assuming they deny the entire story and brush it off as being just more poppycock fake news.

Ironically, all of the letters in Gerda Powis can be lovingly re-arranged to spell: I Was Groped!