Recipes For Success

Fargo New-Born Is Suspected Time-Traveler Based On His Post-Birth Questions
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Fargo New-Born Is Suspected Time-Traveler Based On His Post-Birth Questions

January 16th, 2019 | by Johnnny
Fargo, ND – A new-born baby who was able to speak just after birth is being treated as a bona fide, de facto, time traveler. The baby, who was given the name Evert Altmire, surprised the doctors and nurses shortly after...
FM Observer Hires New CEO To Right The Ship
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FM Observer Hires New CEO To Right The Ship

December 29th, 2018 | by Johnnny
West Fargo, ND – Your FM Observer is very excited to announce that we have just hired a new CEO to run our company. Dr. Papi Rafiki comes highly recommended to us from the Red River Zoo. Papi, as he likes to be called, has...
Former President Jimmy Carter Says Jesus Would Drink Heineken And Vote To Legalize Recreational Marijuana
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Former President Jimmy Carter Says Jesus Would Drink Heineken And Vote To Legalize Recreational Marijuana

July 21st, 2018 | by Johnnny
Plains, GA – Former President Jimmy Carter declared this week that Jesus Christ would drink Heineken and approve of recreational marijuana. The 39th president, who describes himself as a two-time born-again Christian,...
Emperor Penguin Elected President Of Antarctica
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Emperor Penguin Elected President Of Antarctica

May 9th, 2018 | by Johnnny
South Pole, Antarctica – History has once again been made as the southern-most continent has elected its first penguin president. Skipper Kowalski along with his wife Frieda will be moving into the presidential ice palace...
Woman Claims Woodrow Wilson Touched Her Inappropriately During White House Visit
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Woman Claims Woodrow Wilson Touched Her Inappropriately During White House Visit

November 21st, 2017 | by Johnnny
Touchet, WA – A recently deceased woman claims that she was groped by then President Woodrow Wilson whilst she was on a group tour of the White House. Ms. Gerda Powis of Touchet, Washington wrote in her detailed memoirs...
Trump To Introduce Family’s New Pet Llama Whose Name Is Dolly
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Trump To Introduce Family’s New Pet Llama Whose Name Is Dolly

February 23rd, 2017 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – Breaking from long-standing tradition once again, instead of introducing a new First Dog to the country as most presidents have done in the past, President Donald Trump and his First Family will be...
Obama Ninja Army Fighting Climate Change
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Obama Ninja Army Fighting Climate Change

February 17th, 2017 | by Nick
Chicago, IL – It is potentially alleged that in the smoldering wake of his White House tenure, former President Obama has been using covert operations to keep the cherished climate change initiative alive. Fake News has...
Pinochle Players Spending Most Of The Time Arguing About Trump
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Pinochle Players Spending Most Of The Time Arguing About Trump

February 11th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Fair Play, TX – Ever since Donald Trump was elected president, what used to be friendly relaxing games of pinochle have become more heated political debate sessions. Pinochle players such as Arnie Macnaughton of Fair Play,...
After Trump Converts To Mormonism, He Plans To Add Another First Lady
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After Trump Converts To Mormonism, He Plans To Add Another First Lady

February 4th, 2017 | by Johnnny
Washington, DC – It has somehow been leaked that President Trump may soon use an executive order to add another First Lady to the White House after his anticipated upcoming conversion from Presbyterian to Mormonism. Now we...
President Trump Puts Pink Floyd In Charge Of Building The Wall
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President Trump Puts Pink Floyd In Charge Of Building The Wall

November 9th, 2016 | by Johnnny
Wall, Texas – Wasting no time after his landslide victory, President Trump announced that he is putting Pink Floyd in charge of building The Wall. President Trump: “Pink Floyd is going to be in charge of The Wall...