Tag Archives: transgender

Boys Joining Girl Scouts Just For The Cookies

Come and get them, boys!

New York, NY – With girls now joining Boy Scouts for the challenge, boys are now joining Girl Scouts for the cookies.

Pat Hades, a transexual by birth, and who now is executive director of American Scout Society, believes that this is a win/win for both the Boy Scouts to allow girls who want a path to becoming Eagle Scouts, and for Girl Scouts to allow boys who want to eat more cookies.

A recent survey of boys showed that 100% would join Girl Scouts if allowed to eat as many of the following cookies as possible: S’mores, Caramel deLites, Peanut Butter Patties, Shortbreads, Lemonades, Savannah Smiles, Thanks-A-Lots, Toffee-tastics, and Trios.

The American Scout Society is also adding some new merit badges such as the Kneeling Badge to show respect for the National Anthem and also the Climate Change merit badge to show you believe in Global Warming and Global Cooling (depending on the season).

If you have a son (or transexual) who wants to join the Girl Scouts to eat the cookies, simply write a Letter of Request to:

Girl Scouts of the USA
420 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10018-2798

Fargo Restroom Patrons Can Use Whichever One They Want Based On How They Feel

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Men and Women will no longer be segregated into separate bathrooms.

Fargo, ND – To avoid any possible messy lawsuits, all public and private businesses in Fargo will now be required to allow anyone to use whichever bathroom they want based on how they feel at that moment.

So, if you’re biologically male, but feel like using the bathroom normally intended for females, you just go right ahead and do so.

“Why should women be the only ones who are allowed to use the nicer women’s restrooms?”, complains Mort Rose, a professional activist who founded the group: Social Unrest Crisis Kitchen, or SUCK for short.

Mort Rose goes on: “The old paradigm of men go here and women go there is based on a segregational model, which I believe has been outlawed – because it’s just plain wrong!”

All across F-Town, signs that used to say “Men” and “Women” will now be replaced with signs that just say “Bathroom” or “Restroom”.

Caitlyn Jenner On New $10 ‘Hero Bill’

$10 soon to be worth more than $10

$10 bill soon to be worth more than $10

Washington, DC – After becoming a national hero to most Americans, the Federal Reserve has proudly announced that Caitlyn Jenner will soon be appearing on the new $10 bills.

It is already being called the “Hero Bill” since Caitlyn Jenner recently won the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPY award show amidst thunderous applause from all those present, except for Brett Favre.

Federal Reserve Chairman Janet Yellen said that she hopes by putting hero Caitlyn Jenner on the new $10 Hero Bill, there will be much more acceptance and understanding for those who are, or are becoming transjenner.

You will soon be able to get the new $10 Hero Bills at any bank, but each one will cost $15 because of such high demand.

Bruce Jenner Announcing Sect Change During Two Hour Television Special

jennerBruce Jenner, famed former Olympian and step-father to the Kardashian family, plans to announce his sect change during a television special with ABC’s Diane Sawyer. Jenner will be changing his sect from Lutheran to Methodist.

“I’ve been mulling this over for decades. It just didn’t feel right living the way I was. It felt like I was living in a different body altogether. Methodists use whole wheat, leavened communion, which resonates with my personality and faith much more than the Lutheran version of white, unleavened communion. This change is difficult for all of us…I’m happy that my family supports me through this tumultuous time.”

Sawyer’s two-hour television special is expected to discuss the detailed history of the different sects and Bruce’s internal struggle, with no less than 11 commercials segments featuring bread.