Tag Archives: universe

Expert Now Believes Universe Began And Will Also End With A Big Bang

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If you like big fireworks, you will love being around for the final Big Bang! –Dr. Gabbin Fingal

Bangor, Maine – Dr. Gabbin Fingal now has good reason to believe that the universe will end just like it began.

Dr. Fingal’s highly scientific model of the universe has repeatedly shown that the original Big Bang of creation can and will very likely be eventually followed by a final Big Bang of total disintegration.

Dr. Gabbin Fingal in his own words:

“This is what i believe, and what I believe is this, Sir Isaac Newton’s third law which states that ‘every action has an equal and opposite reaction’ assuredly also applies to the universe’s creational Big Bang.”

“When will this happen? It depends on how you set your Universal Clock.“

Scientifically, all the letters in Gabbin Fingal can be exploded into: Final Big Bang!

FMObserver Soon To Open University Dedicated To Teaching Fake News

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West Fargo, ND – A dream of our FMO Founding Fathers will soon come to pass: Having our very own university entirely focused on teaching every asspect of Fake News.

What began as a basic remote summer camp with a few tents will soon proudly be a full-scale university with doors, toilets and even a secretary or two.

FMO University will be the first fully accredited school in the USA offering undergraduate and overgraduate degrees in fake news, satire, creative writing, writing therapy, libel, and humor. Students can focus on one area of study or any combination therein/thereof.

Doctor Jock Livingstone: “As Dean of the FMObserver Univershity, I’m so very proud to represent the future of Fake News for generations to come, as mankind travels down the pathology to its own destiny in the iClouds. You can bet your sweet bippy that this wonderful school of higher learning will be attended by my kids, their kids, and their kids’ kids, and so on and so forth, so help me God.”

Fargo Teen Accidentally Creates An Actual Wormhole In His Bedroom

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Fargo wormhole proves Einstein’s theory.

Fargo, ND – While working on his school project for the upcoming Science Fair, a Fargo teenager somehow created an actual wormhole in his bedroom.

As we all know, a wormhole is a shortcut to another point in the space-time continuum offering a shorter distance between two vastly separated areas of the universe.

Daron Bainbridge, a sophomore at Fargo’s new Carlmont High School, now knows that wormholes are no longer just a theoretical hypothesis predicted by Einstein’s theory of general relativity.

Daron Bainbridge in his own words: “While tinkering around with some information I was reading about the Einstein-Rosen bridge, all of a sudden I was staring at a tunnel-like connection into spacetime right next to my frickin bed!”

Daron’s Physics teacher, Dr. Markus Lyberth: “Daron is a good student who is always trying to put various ideas together in different ways. Creating a wormhole is not only remarkable, especially at his young age, but at the same time can be quite dangerous due to the possibility of sudden collapse of the wormhole, not to mention radioactivity, along with coming in contact with exotic anti-matter heretofore unbeknownst to mankind.”