Tag Archives: utah

Punditic Thoughts On The Vice Presidential Debate

What really matters?

Salt Lake City, Utah – Here are some important questions and answers regarding the October 7th Vice Presidential debate between Senator Kamala Harris and Vice President Mike Pence.

Q: Who do you think won this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What will be the historical take-away from this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What do you think Mike Pence would like to change about this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What do you think was the key moment during the debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: Besides the plexiglass, what stood out during this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What might some protest signs say after this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: When people talk about this debate, what will be discussed first and foremost?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What do you think matters most about this upcoming election?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: How will Saturday Night Live mock this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What issue was discussed the least during this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Q: What do you think will be remembered most about this debate?
A: Black Flies Matter.

Former President Jimmy Carter Says Jesus Would Drink Heineken And Vote To Legalize Recreational Marijuana

Jimmy Carter knows what Jesus would think.

Plains, GA – Former President Jimmy Carter declared this week that Jesus Christ would drink Heineken and approve of recreational marijuana.

The 39th president, who describes himself as a two-time born-again Christian, says that after his second rebirth, he believes that Jesus would drink Heineken beer and also vote to make recreational marijuana legal in all states, except for Utah.

He went on to say he thought Jesus would think that President Carter was one of the best presidents in the history of our country, ranked right up there with President Obama and Woodrow Wilson.

When asked how he knows what Jesus Christ would think, he simply answered with a big smile: “Besides having the same initials, we were both carpenters.”