Tag Archives: vomit

Downtown Project Seeks To Turn Street Vomit Into Barf Art

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Barf Art

Downtown Fargo Barf Art

Fargo, ND – The growing problem of vomit in the streets of downtown Fargo due to late-night binge drinkers has had city leaders’ stomachs churning for some time. However, a local group of forward-thinkers believe they have the solution: Barf Art.

With a project dubbed, “Regurgitation Appreciation: Let People Hurl”, or RALPH, the group proposes that downtown streets and sidewalks be covered in large white sheets of paper which people can barf all over, Jackson Pollock-style. The paper will then be collected, dried, framed, and put up for auction.

Proceeds from the Barf Art sales will likely benefit someone, but those details have yet to be released.

“Great art always elicits an emotional response,” explains project leader Chuck Upton. “Based on that idea, we think these pieces will be appropriately viewed as brilliant. For collectors in search of a statement piece, Barf Art will be organic and bold, yet intensely intimate. Struggling to find a gift for the person who has everything? Well, guess what? They don’t have Barf Art.”

Downtown bars and restaurants are being encouraged to contribute to the RALPH project by offering happy hour specials on drinks made with colorful liquors. Raspberry Kamikazes and Blue Hawaiians create drama and vibrancy in the art, while Bailey’s Irish Cream drinks add a subtle earthiness.

Free bar snacks, such as peanuts, pretzels, or chips and salsa will also be welcomed for their texture-rich qualities.

“We still have a few logistical snags to work out, but overall we’re super excited about the RALPH project,” raved Upton. “Our hope is that someday people all over the world will see barf on a wall and just know immediately…It’s Downtown Fargo!”

Fargo Debates Downtown Vomit

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Where do you stand on the vomit issue?

Fargo, ND – City officials in Fargo are urgently wondering if you think more should be done about vomit on the streets in downtown Fargo.

While some people here are understandably anti-vomitus for the struggling downtown Fargo area, others believe that vomiting in public is protected as free speech by the 1st Amendment to the United States Constitution.

“Since vomitus usually comes out of the mouth, this action is legally considered to be a form of speech, and therefore, anyone in the United States of America should be able to vomit anytime, anywhere” argues the Rev. Perry Stalsis, a well-respected vomitologist, author, and retired pastor from the Barf University Research Project (BURP).

“If we give up the right to vomit in downtown Fargo, what will be next? Urinating in Sioux Falls?” he worries.

In coming months, expect to see sickish protesters from the Fargo Free Vomitus Society working the streets in opposition to a possible proposed city ban against downtown vomitus.

Punk Rocker Booed For Not Vomiting On Stage

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Fargo, ND – Local punk rock group Fist Munch was met with a flurry of boos after frontman Jason “DickRash” Regal failed to perform his customary mid-song vomit during a gig at the Aquarium last night. DickRash is widely known for his projectile vomit routine during the band’s hit song “Vomitosis”. His ritual consists of leading into the end chorus screaming his fucking guts out and ralphing all over the front row.

Fans were heard screaming at DickRash: “Where’s the spew, bro!” and “We want the vomit!!” “Hoark on us, maaaan!” A female patron was heard, yelling “Puke on me, DickRash! Shower me with your stinky stomach jizz!!” Another distressed fan was seen crying and blowing chunks all over the mosh pit in an effort to placate the rest of the crowd.

As soon as the boos died down, DickRash apologized to the crowd, saying “Sorry I couldn’t mouth-jizz on you freaks. I drank all the cat piss at the last gig.”

DickRash vowed to puke himself silly during the band’s next show.

Red River Valley Fair Concert Goer Still Dealing With PTSD Symptoms

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West Fargo, ND – The smell of vomit, stale beer, and body odor has passed.  The site of the latest fashion trends and best dressed citizens have all but moved on to the next fair or redneck gathering.  What hasn’t gone away is poor little Sarah’s vivid images and sounds she was a witness to on the night of JULY 13, 2012.

What Sarah is experiencing is a serious condition called Post-traumatic stress disorder. A type of anxiety disorder many concert and fair goers experience after the fair is long gone.

On this particular night, Sarah went to the fair with her ever loving parents.  After taking in the rides and playing some games, they went to see Jerrod Niemann who is supposedly a country music artist.

What happens next is explained in the picture below. Sarah was sitting there expecting to hear some decent music when this country music artist decided to break into a Bob Marley cover song.  Yes that’s right, a country music artist playing a Bob Marley song.  Sarah is seen in utter despair and crying as she tries to keep her ear drums from exploding.  Her parents comforted her and tried to cheer her up but it was no use.  Sarah had to sit in terror through the rest of the concert.

 

Treatment of PTSD has a pretty high success rate.  Hopefully poor little Sarah can recover before next years grand stand headliner who is reported to be “The rapper who can literally crap out of his mouth,” Drake.