Tag Archives: warning

UFO Sightings Over Ireland Shortly After Release Of New ‘Guinness Plus’ Beer

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Guinness Plus: All the flavor and twice the punch!

Dublin, Ireland – You may have recently heard about the multiple UFO sightings over and around Ireland.

You might not’ve known that all these UFOs were reported shortly after Guinness Beer released their newest bier: Guinness Plus!

Paul Guinness of the Guinness Corp. is proud to point out that their new bier has all the body and flavor of regular Guinness bier but packs a double–punch of enjoyment when it reaches your nervous system.

FMO: What was the impetus for creating your new Guinness Plus bier?

Paul: We wanted to be listed in the Guinness Book Of World Records as the strongest beer in both the flavor and alcohol content categories.

Guinness Plus does now come with a disclaimer on each bottle: Warning…May cause UFOs to appear!

Tsunami False Alarm Issued For State Of North Dakota

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The legendary state of North Dakota receives its first ever Tsunami Warning.

Bismarck, ND – Even though it did seem a bit odd at the time, a Tsunami Warning was issued for the entire state of North Dakota.

Without thinking, many folks in North Dakota did have a panicky knee-jerk reaction to the warning, which read: “Tsunami Alert – Listen To Radio: This is not a test!”

Lester Schnopgaard told us that after getting his entire family up onto their roof, he then began to wonder: “Hey, how could a tsunami hit North Dakota, and where the heck would the water be coming from?”

Most people who tuned into the radio only heard some country music or a night-time discussion about how aliens have taken over the White House.

About 28 minutes after the Tsunami Warning was issued, it was then cancelled, which was a huge relief to Lester Schnopgaard and the entire state of North Dakota.

Uncle Screwball Warning Trick-Or-Treaters To Avoid Scary Clowns Like Him

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Hi Kids! If you see a bad clown like me on Halloween, run in the opposite direction.

Moorhead, MN – As a public service in the name of survival safety, the infamous clown named Uncle Screwball (who is best known for freaking kids out) wants to warn parents and children to stay away from any scary-looking clowns around Halloween time.

Uncle Screwball not only wants to warn trick-or-treaters to avoid himself, but also some of his scary clown friends who also fall into the category of dark, bad, and twisted.

“It would be best to avoid: Doctor Loopy, Ga-Gonzo, Mr. Wacko, Nutso Job, Loony Brain, Big Bonkers, and Krazy Kook,” according the the admonishing Uncle Screwball.

The god-father of all psycho-clowns goes on to tell kids: “Bad clowns can be anywhere, so always stay watchful. They may be sitting motionless on a porch holding a bucket of candy, or hiding behind a large bush, or even quietly walking right behind you. Bad clowns have a lot of good tricks!”