Area Man Stares In Bewilderment At Printed Newspaper

Birmingham, AL—College Freshman Adam Callows, 19, stood there in a state of confusion yesterday as a gust of wind blew the front page of a printed news publication onto his left leg. “What the…?” he exclaimed as he bent over to pick up this strange conglomeration of words and graphics that clearly did not exist on his mobile device.

“News…on paper?” he said to himself, quizzically. Callows seemed utterly mystified at the presence of this ink-on-paper media source. “Who would waste their time…do they give these away?? I’ve always wondered where uncle Ted got all that Christmas wrapping paper with the words and pictures on it. Apparently, he was using a ‘news paper’ to conceal the identity of our gifts.”

Callows muddled over the useless piece of paper for another few seconds before tossing it in a nearby trashcan.