Cupertino, CA—Famed internet inventor and climate changeologist Al Gore went on the offensive yesterday during an Earth Day event at Apple® headquarters. When news of the Chilean volcanic eruption broke, Gore equated it to a byproduct of global warming.
“The continual warming of the Earth’s crust leads to violent reactions that harm our atmosphere,” said Gore. “It’s an inconvenient truth: Volcanic eruptions belch smoke and ash into our very fragile ecosystem because YOU and I won’t REDUCE our Carbon Footprint!”
The former Vice President echoed the sentiments he’s been expressing for years. Even now, his war on warmth is as furious as it’s ever been.
“The glowball is warming! Manbearpig is real! Enjoy the internet! God bless the United Atmosphere of America!”