Category Archives: Sports

Zygi Wilf asks Viking fans to start thinking of new team name

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Minneapolis, MN – As the twilight years of yet another Minnesota sports team near their bittersweet end, the owner of the Minnesota Vikings is keeping the lines of communication with the fan base open. Knowing that a stadium deal will likely not get done, thus forcing the team out of town, Zygi Wilf is reaching out to fans to seek their opinion on where they’d like to see the team go and what to call it. In a statement on his website, Mr. Wilf had this to say:

Dear Minnesota sports fans,

It’s been a nice run, but as i’m sure most of you are aware, the Vikings of Minnesota are almost certainly on their way out of town. Lawmakers in the state are seemingly incapable of coming to an agreement on a multi-million dollar sports complex (which I am willing to help fund 🙂 so leave me out of this). This begs the question: What do you want to call your new team? Here are a few catchy names i’ve been batting around so far. Let me know your thoughts:

Los Angeles Blaze

Los Angeles Stardust

Los Angeles Mudslide

Or if we move to England:

London Crumpetmashers

London Fogs

Please leave all thoughts/votes in the comments section of the site. Keep your negative comments to yourself kthanksBAI.

Yours, 

Zygi

This is a sad time for Minnesota sports. Another team jumping ship for no reason other than politics. First the Lakers, then the North Stars and now our beloved Vikings. Hey, sports teams…

Y U NO STAY MINNE SOTA??????


Michael Jordan is the worst at something

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Greatness

Greatness

Charlotte, NC – Legendary NBA baller Michael Jordan is worldly renowned for being the best professional basketball player of all time. ON the court. These days, his Airness has been occupying the complete opposite end of the NBA spectrum. He’s a majority owner of the worst professional basketball team around. The Charlotte Bobcats of the NBA are so terrible, they’ve won only 7 out of 66 games this season making that a win percentage of .106!

It’s mostly due to the unparalleled will and desire of Jordan, who in a recent post-game interview broke it down for the Observer:

“I have been dominating the game of basketball ever since college. I have quieted every single one of my doubters and haters. Frankly, I’ve gotten complacent with success so this year I’ve made the decision to fail. Gonna try it out. I plan to prove the doubters right and silence everyone who thought I could do it, who thought I could helm a successful team OFF the court.”

Air Jordan can be seen sitting courtside during most of the team’s games, presumably to strike fear and intimidation into his own squad. His presence seems to have a negative impact on the team as the Bobcats simply refuse to win under His Greatness’s watchful eye. Air is dominating the game like he always has. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

Twins Baseball Preview: Ron Gardenhire promises to lose at least 80 games in 2012

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Fort Myers, FL – In the midst of Minnesota Twins baseball spring training, skipper Ron Gardenhire is already making some bold predictions for the upcoming 2012 season. When asked how he thought his team looked so far this preseason, Gardy had this to say:

“I’d like to think we’ll contend for last place in the American League again this year, but personally, I think barely missing a Wild Card berth is more realistic. That’s going to require us losing quite a few games. If we really band together as a ballclub and play as lousy as we did in 2011, i’d say we could lose as many as 80 games this year. With the M&M boys (Mauer & Morneau) looking sluggish and overpaid and a shaky pitching rotation that includes a very suspect bullpen, we will lose 80 games or more. That’s a guarantee.”

Gardy went on to say that he thinks that the Tigers are loaded and will definitely sweep the Twins this year and win the division.