Tag Archives: boat

Lottery Winner From Fargo Blows It All On A Single Purchase

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Say hello to the 118 foot Wally-118 made by Wally Yachts of the Ferretti Group.

Fargo, ND – After winning a $33 million jackpot in one of the various lottery games, Tommy Swinehart decided to buy himself a real nice boat.

Since he had just won big, Tommy wanted to think big.

Mr. Swinehart ended up purchasing a Wally 118 luxury motor yacht.

This incredibly designed boat tops out at 70 mph due to its 16,800 total horsepower.

Within its 118 foot length, the Wally 118 has a saloon, a dining area, a navigation cockpit, and holds 5,800 gallons of fuel.

Tommy also fell in love with the six plasma TVs, the king-sized master bedroom, the two queen guest rooms, each bedroom having his/her en suite bathrooms.

Unfortunately, Mr. Swinehart’s new Wally 118 cost $33 million, thus leaving Tommy with no money with which to use his expensive luxury motor yacht.

Expectedly, all the letters in Tommy Swinehart can be re-arranged to spell: Smart With Money!

Fargo’s New Party Barge To Run On Red River Yearound Thanks To Global Warming

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Fargo’s Red River Party Barge

Fargo, ND – Thanks to Algore for first inventing the Internet, and then Global Warming, Fargo’s new Party Barge will be providing tours of the Red River throughout the entire year.

The Party Barge is an actual decommissioned Navy tugboat recently taken out of service during the overall downsizing of our military.

Depending on the season, Party Barge tours up and down the Red River will serve hot cocoa, wine, beer, or shots of tequila.

While riding on the Party Barge, passengers will be able to get a first-hand view of our local nature, wildlife, and homeless population who live under the bridges.

The covered docking area which will be maintained by a group called Pier Group Pressure will sell homemade scones, donut holes, and lefse.

Pier Group Pressure chairwoman Flavia Gracestone says she envisions the Party Barge docking area to be a wonderful new community resource rentable by various support groups, cults, gangs, churches, and political parties.