Tag Archives: exploration

Mueller Seeks To Penetrate Trump’s Personal Inner Sanctum With Long Large Probe

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Robert Mueller is focused on an elongated probe of President Trump’s inner world.

Washington, DC – Robert Mueller, the very special counsel appointed to investigate any and all possible links and/or coordination between the Russian government and the Donald Trump campaign is promising to leave no stones unturned.

No matter how long as it takes, the Mueller probe vows to penetrate all facts and leads to their end points, not unlike the vast network of tunnels in a large ant hill.

Even though it has been described by some as a witch hunt and/or fishing expedition, the Special Counsel’s inquisition will poke and prod until there is nothing left to explore and all possible federal crimes have been fully delved into, not unlike an extended presidential colonoscopy.

Cave Exploration Not Unlike Doing A Colonoscopy

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Dr. Hugh Janus likes to spend his free time exploring the bowels of the Earth.

Dr. Hugh Janus likes to spend his free time exploring the bowels of the Earth.

Cavetown, Maryland – Recently, while hanging out in the lunchroom of a local hospital, we learned of an interesting phenomenon while sipping coffee at a table with some gastroenterologists.

What we discovered is that many of these digestive tract doctors like to spend their free time exploring caves and leading some group cave explorations.

Dr. Seymour Butts said he started exploring caves while back in medical school. “I found caves to be a nice, quiet place to study.”

Dr. Willy Reams likens our planet’s caves to “the bowels of the Earth, which are well worth investigating.”

Dr. Richard Brown admitted that “after years of doing colonoscopies, I just feel comfortable hiking and exploring caves, which can go on for miles.”

Dr. Rodney Ram: “I actually became a gastroenterologist after growing up exploring caves in my state as an inquisitive youngster.”

Swimmable Lake Discovered On Mars!

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The discovery of a lake on Mars means there are probably fish there too!

Syrtis Major, Mars – Marsologists are excitedly reporting that a lake has been discovered on Planet Mars!

What was first observed with the Viking Orbiter has now been confirmed with the Mars Rover.

The unnamed lake is reportedly in the region that Martian topographers call the Syrtis Major Planum.

It seems that water flows into this lake from Mount Olympus which is in the Tharsis region and then eventually into the Kaiser Sea.

Top Italian Marsologist, Giovanni Schiaparelli, says: “Non siamo sicuri se il lago ha acqua normale o acqua forse pesante. Ma l’acqua è acqua, non importa quanto l’idrogeno ha.”

This translates into: “We are not sure if the lake has normal water (H2O) or perhaps heavy water (H3O). But hey, water is water, no matter how much hydrogen it has, eh?”

As to what he thinks the official name of the lake will be, Giovanni simply said: “I think maybe Justin TimberLake!?”

NASA Reducing Its Goal To Just Being Able To Successfully Launch A Rocket

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NASA’s Antares Rocket Wallops An Island Off Virginia

Wallops Island, VA – Despite an apparent ‘glitch’ during take-off, NASA is saying that everything is under control and that no one should have any reason for concern.

Even though many on-lookers witnessed an alleged explosion during the attempted launch of the NASA Antares Rocket, government officials are down-playing the event as a possible ‘abnormal termination’.

Because of this, however, the future goals for the NASA space program could soon be lowered. Rather than shooting to return humans to the moon by 2020 and sending a manned mission to Mars by 2030, NASA is considering changing its goal to just being able to successfully launch a rocket into space without it blowing up on the launchpad.

A NASA spokesperson spoke: “By changing our blueprint for future deep space exploration, we are better aligning our goals with the true capabilities of a governmental agency to effectually bring a mission to a successful conclusion.”

The good news is that even though the U.S. has become totally dependent on the Russians to get us to and from the International Space Station ever since our own Space Shuttle program was ended in 2011, we luckily have maintained a great relationship with our friendly Russian allies.