Fargo, ND – After Fargo’s mayor firmly declared the city to be safe despite some recent fatalities just North of the downtown area, our FM Observer’s man-on-the-street went out to ask some locals living in that area of town the following simple question:

Question: How safe do you feel in your North Fargo neighborhood?

Here are some of the answers we got:

I feel as safe as caged pigeons in the basement of a Chinese restaurant.

I feel as safe as a young baseball fan sitting in the foul ball section of a Cubs game.

I feel as safe as a French cathedral while restoration workers have a smoke break.

I feel as safe as American tourists vacationing in the Dominican Republic.

I feel as safe as an afternoon clerk at a Howard Johnson’s Inn.

I feel as safe as private insurance companies during a Bernie Sander’s rally.

I feel as safe as a typo in a document about to be spell-checked.

I feel as safe as a bottle rocket in a match factory.

I feel as safe as an African lion within sight of a Minneapolis dentist.

I feel as safe as a case of ice-cold beer at We Fest.

I feel as safe as the owner of a Texas BBQ food truck.