Tag Archives: hammock

Groups Of Homeless Living In Trees East Of Glyndon

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Each homeless group elects their own mayor.

Glyndon, MN – Even though you perhaps cannot see them from Highway 10 as you’re driving to/fro Detroit Lakes, they can certainly see you driving by.

Many of the groups of trees visible from Highway 10 just East of Glyndon, Minisoda now house numerous groups of homeless people living in hammocks and cleverly designed lean-to shelters.

By mastering most of the survival techniques in the U.S. Army Survival Manual, these groups of homeless folks are “doing quite well for themselves,” so says Dr. Helbert Tessler who has been studying people who live in shelter belts as part of his doctoral thesis for the past 20 years.

Dr. Tessler: “What these survivalists are doing today is not dissimilar to what the original pioneers did back in the 18th century.”

Ironically, Helbert Tessler can be rearranged into: Shelter Belters!

FMO Buys Gilligan’s Island For Our Readers

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FMObserver now owns Gilligan's Island!

FMObserver now owns Gilligan’s Island!

Pacific Ocean – The FMObserver is extremely proud to announce that after hours of negotiations in smoke-filled rooms, we have purchased Gilligan’s Island for an undisclosed number of bitcoins.

While travelling and observing all around the world as we often do, one conversation on a plane led to another meeting on a boat and finally to camping in hammocks on famous Gilligan’s Island.

The main reason we decided to buy Gilligan’s Island was for you, our respected readers, not to mention the tax benefits suggested to us by our accountant.

So, any time you find yourself in the general vicinity of the Pacific Ocean, feel free to take a three-hour tour to your island paradise but make sure to first check the weather forecast so you don’t get stranded there for years.

Woman Living In Hammock Above Fargo Park

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Hammock woman tells FMO reporter to "Fuck off!"

Hammock woman tells FMO reporter to “Fuck Off!”

Fargo, ND – One of our best junior reporters (who recently attended FMO Summer Camp) somehow discovered a woman living up in a hammock in Fargo’s Lindenwood Park.

Our on-the-scene reporter cleverly asked the lady why she was there, living in a hammock?

Her reply was that she was getting set up early for the WE Fest and wanted to “grab a good spot before they all were taken.”

After our reporter kindly informed her that the WE Fest is down by Detroit Lakes and not in Fargo, the stunned hammocker became quite irate and proceeded to drop multiple F-Bombs on our staffer while madly throwing empty tunafish cans down from her high-hanging hangout.

Moral of the story: Don’t mess with the WE Festers, especially when they’re high.