Tag Archives: lights

West Fargo Couple Dies In Car While Waiting For Traffic Light To Turn Green

When the red light finally turned green, both the driver and passenger were no more.

West Fargo, ND – In a stunningly slow turn of events, an older West Fargo couple died while waiting for a red light to turn green.

Leth and Helt Ringgold had pulled up to a red traffic light which recently had been having some functionality “issues”.

Unfortunately for the Ringgolds, the red light took an extraordinarily long time to change to green.

By the time they finally got the signal to proceed through the intersection, both Leth and Helt Ringgold had passed on, gone bye-bye, kicked the bucket, gone upstairs, breathed their last, met their maker, checked out, bit the dust.

The West Fargo Street Department has apologized for this sad mishap and promised to check each and every traffic light to make sure something like this does not happen again.

Interestingly, both Leth Ringgold and Helt Ringgold can be re-arranged into: Long Red Light!

Apple’s Smart Christmas iTree Is The Best New Thing For The Holidays Since Eggnog

Apple’s new iTree will change Christmas forever.

Apple Valley, CA – It was just a matter of time until Apple introduced their new Christmas iTree.

Now, for your Christmas enjoyment, you can have a smart Christmas tree which, of course, comes with a Siri.

This new hyper-functional iTree will change Christmas as much as eggnog did when it was first poured.

Tell Siri to change the look of your iTree randomly or at set times.

You can ask your new Christmas iTree how many presents are under the tree, provide the current total number of gifts for each person, what’s in each present, how much a present cost and where it was purchased, what is the meaning of Christmas, how many years ago was Jesus born, and what is the current value of Apple stock.

The new Apple iTree will also change the look of its lights, its size and shape, and even rotate to enhance your Christmas pleasure all while playing any Christmas music that you want.

Gather the whole family on the couch and have your new iTree take a picture or video of your Christmas happenings, and then ask Siri to contact relatives to FaceTime with others using their iTree!

There is really no limit to what your new Apple smart Christmas iTree can do except it cannot purchase itself…you will have to do that.

Holiday Lights In Lindenwood To Be Visible From Space

Beam me up, Scotty

Beam me up, Scotty

Fargo, ND – The Fargo-Moorhead Sertoma Club is again providing a dazzling display of diodes and doodads. Holiday Lights In Lindenwood Park is open to the public and boy, is it impressive. So impressive, in fact, that if you happen to be traveling to Mars for Christmas you can see it from space.

The Holiday Lights can be viewed for a gentle $6.00 admission fee per car or van ($5.00 with canned good donation) or $10.00 for busses and limousines. A particular portion of the proceeds will go towards Caustic Sertoma awareness.

What follows is a public service announcement from the Caustic Sertoma Foundation®.

Caustic Sertoma. What is Caustic Sertoma? Wouldn’t you like to know. Do you or your loved ones suffer from Caustic Sertoma? This regenerative condition affects literally hundreds of people each year. Side effects may include: blood, urination, occasional breathing, hair growth, eyesight and nonviolent mood swings. If you’ve had sertomatic symptoms for more than 4 hours, seek medical attention. People who are pregnant with zika should not have Caustic Sertoma. Ask your doctor if Caustic Sertoma is right for you.